Three Thoughts for Thursday ~ November 2025

~ Gratitude and Celebration ~

November in the Pacific Northwest feels like a season-long celebration, as if the trees themselves have dressed in their finest to mark the turning of the year, with colorful and festive décor setting the stage for a party. I’ve always loved this colorful season that stands opposite to spring—two chapters in the same story, each illuminated by its own festive palette. Spring offers the bright hues of beginning and youth, an awakening into possibility. Fall provides deeper, richer tones that speak to wisdom, resilience, and the quiet power of maturation. Together, they reveal a cyclical artistry: color as both a herald of emergence and a benediction over the dormancy that allows for rebuilding. In this rhythm, I find a steady witness to the goodness that can grow within a year..

With the arrival of Thanksgiving, November invites a deliberate pause, a turning inward toward gratitude. It’s a chance to honor the abundance in our lives—material or relational, expansive or intimate, communal or solitary. Gratitude meets us in many forms: friendships that sustain us, health that steadies us, time that stretches or contracts as needed, learning that reshapes us, and transitions that remind us of the impermanence and beauty of each season. For me, November also holds the light of many birthdays—dear friends I’ve collected over the years, my daughter Sally turning five, and my own marking of another year. These celebrations create joy and connection, reasons to celebrate the abundance of amazing people, grounding me in the relationships and moments that matter most.

All of this has me reflecting on how essential it is to welcome gratitude and celebration more intentionally—not only when the calendar tells us to, but as regular visitors in the everyday. They are, truly, cousins of joy, each one carrying a spark that rekindles something vital in us. When we invite them in more often, they gather like family: telling stories, offering warmth, reminding us of who we are and what we cherish. November, with its shimmering trees and its invitations to pause, to be thankful, feels like one long reunion with these joyful kin. And as the year bends toward its close, I find myself wanting to extend the party—carrying the practice of noticing, appreciating, and celebrating into the quieter season ahead. 

Which “season” of your own life are you currently in—emergence, growth, dormancy, rebuilding—and what colors or metaphors best describe it? What parts of your year stand out as witnesses to your own growth, resilience, or wisdom? Where do you naturally feel gratitude right now, and where might you be resisting it? What practices help you slow down and intentionally notice abundance or beauty in your daily life? Do you practice these throughout the year? How can you bring more intentional celebration into your routine—not just for milestones, but for ordinary moments of progress or presence? Who in your life is quietly contributing to your sense of abundance, stability, or joy, and what might you be overlooking about their impact? How do the seasons or rhythms of the people around you differ from your own, and how might you better honor those differences? How can you express gratitude more consistently to the people who shape your life, even in small ways? Where might celebration or acknowledgment strengthen a relationship that feels important to you? How can you create more “joy gatherings” in your relationships—moments of connection, appreciation, or shared presence that nourish everyone involved?

Quote(s) I’ve Been Pondering:

Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, and more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.

~ Andre Gide ~

Book I’ve Been Reading: 

Positivity: Discover the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life
By Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD

My Thoughts and Takeaways:
Barbara Fredrickson, a leading researcher in the science of emotion, brings to light compelling evidence for the power of positivity in this insightful book. I’m just past the halfway point and appreciating the way she names and unpacks ten forms of positivity worth noticing and cultivating: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love (39). I’m especially drawn to her reminder that “each person’s pathway to flourishing is unique” (39). What evokes joy, hope, gratitude, pride, or inspiration is deeply personal—rooted in our individual histories, identities, challenges, and purposes.

Fredrickson highlights gratitude as one of the most powerful emotional catalysts, noting that “gratitude opens your heart and carries the urge to give back—to do something good in return, either for the person who helped you or for someone else” (45). She also wisely warns us about gratitude’s “evil twin”—indebtedness (45). Throughout the book, she invites us into experimentation. “Ask yourself questions that draw you toward the positive,” she writes. “See if creating mental space for seeking out and savoring the good can warm your heart and soften your face, calling forth a just-noticeable smile” (50). What shifts when you do this? What spaciousness is created when you reframe, savor, or simply look for what is good?

I’m struck by her observation that “unexplained positivity lasts longer than positivity we analyze until we fully understand it” (50). It invites us toward savoring rather than dissecting every uplifting moment—a practice that helps us take the reins of our minds. Fredrickson is clear: “…you hold the reins to your own positivity. Although it often seems that our emotions rain down on us as unpredictably as the weather, we have a surprising amount of control over the emotions we feel” (51). This mirrors Joseph Nguyen’s insight in Don’t Believe Everything You Think: it’s not the thoughts themselves, but the thinking about our thoughts—the rumination, the overanalyzing—that creates suffering. As Fredrickson writes, “whether you experience positivity or not depends vitally on how you think… on whether you allow yourself to take a moment to find the good—and… pump that goodness up and let it grow” (49).

I find Fredrickson’s research deeply empowering, and I’m excited to continue experimenting—with both micro-moments of positivity and the “workouts” that strengthen these muscles over time. Here’s to taking up the reins of our thinking, cultivating positivity with intention, and supporting our own flourishing and well-being. Cheers to what grows from here.

And a few more of my favorite nuggets…
“Positivity doesn’t just change the contents of your mind…it widens the span of possibilities that you see.”
“Positive emotions are not trivial luxuries but instead might be critical necessities for optimal functioning.”
“Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that’s not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they’re also doing good – adding value to the world.”

What Amazon Has to Say:

World-renowned researcher Dr. Barbara Fredrickson gives you the lab-tested tools necessary to create a healthier, more vibrant, and flourishing life through a process she calls “the upward spiral.” 

You’ll discover:

•What positivity is, and why it needs to be heartfelt to be effective
• The ten sometimes surprising forms of positivity
• Why positivity is more important than happiness
• How positivity can enhance relationships, work, and health, and how it relieves depression, broadens minds, and builds lives
• The top-notch research that backs the 3-to-1 “positivity ratio” as a key tipping point
• That your own sources of positivity are unique, and how to tap into them
• How to calculate your current positivity ratio, track it, and improve it

With Positivity, you’ll learn to see new possibilities, bounce back from setbacks, connect with others, and become the best version of yourself.

Podcast I’m Listening To:

How do you train your mind to be happier? That was the question posed to Dr. Laurie Santos by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar at a live webinar for his Happiness Studies Academy.

Tal is a leading expert in positive psychology and co-founded the academy to share his knowledge online with students from around the world. Dr. Lauri is just one of the scientists he invited to give lessons and take questions from the audience.

If you want to learn more about the Happiness Studies Academy, or are interested in taking one of the Certificates, Masters. or PhD courses, visit Happiness Studies Academy.

My Takeaways:

1. Gratitude Practice > Light Version > Find some delights!
2. Positivity: Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Interest Hope, Pride, Amusement, Inspiration, Awe, Love
3. Don’t fall prey to ‘All or Nothing’ thinking > micro-moments, micro-habits, Notice and Savor!
4. 3 R’s of Change = Reminders, Repetition, Rituals
5. Savor, Experience Gratitude in Practice & Express = Keys to Gratitude
6. “We first make our habits and then our habits make us.” ~ John Dryden

And, in honor of my birthday, a little Sesame Street…

Dr. Laurie Santos and Sesame Street: Abby Cadabby and the Magic of Gratitude | September 17, 2023

It’s never too early or too late to learn how to be happier. Whether you’re aged 3, 23 or 103, we’ve teamed up with our furry friends from Sesame Street to bring you fun and fact-based tips to improve the wellbeing of you and the people around you. 

We begin with Abby Cadabby – a fairy who isn’t having such a great day. Her usual spells can’t rid her of her “grumpies,” so Dr. Laurie teaches her the magical effect that being grateful for who and what is around you can have on your mood. 

~

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.  If you enjoyed this post, take a look at October’s Three Thoughts. You may also be interested in reading my four-part Lessons of the Run series –Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. Take a look at my latest post, “YOU are the MISSING Piece!” and stay tuned for an update to this piece, along with a recent and new 5^th Lesson of the Run – Humility and Adaptability! If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.
 
As I mentioned, the stroke I had in February 2018 was a pivotal event and valuable turning point in my life; you can read more in my commemorative post. Please join me in celebrating these milestones, turning points, and calls to “winter,” by taking time to celebrate your own milestones and by fully embracing the opportunities in front of you, the value in the little things, and the beauty that surrounds you in this wonderful, messy life. I will forever be grateful for my stroke and the path of integrity I found in its wake.

I am currently partnering with my fellow Education and Coaching colleague, Dr. Joan Flora, to offer a series on Resolving Emotional Reactivity. This series explores emotions and their purpose, the information they hold about our human needs, and how we can learn to respond with intention and integrity instead of reacting and regretting. We are offering monthly Open Houses to learn more.
 
Over the course of the last two years, I’ve hosted a few local, in-person events here in the Seattle area, like Savor the Sweetness and the Serenity Retreat. The Serenity Retreat was another success! This relaxing and delightful event took place again June 14, 2025; learn more! Savor the Sweetness took place again September 20, 2025, and was also divine! I’m excited to play more in these spaces of creating opportunities for connection and reflection If you are interested in such local events, please contact me with any questions, or to join the invite list for future events!
 
I have the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  We kicked off our 2025 explorations and learning journey on February 25th with guest Dr. J.D. Pincus of AgileBrain, who walked us through The LA Wildfires through the Lens of Emotional Needs: Coaching in Times of Loss.   On Tuesday, June 24^th, we both revisited and explored emotional intelligence in coaching through our topic, Emotional Intelligence Foundations for Coaching and Workplace Impact, with guest Maribel Hines, MBA, SPHR, CPLP. Maribel offered her insights, wisdom, and perspective through her in-house leadership and coaching and EQ practitioner lens. It was a great session as we translated theory and emotional intelligence into action and impact! Our August 26th session with Dr. Joan Flora focused on From Reactivity to Resilience: Coaching to Soften Reactivity and Strengthen Resilience. Our final session for the year was on Tuesday, October 28^th, with guest speaker, Nicole Venner, who created space to explore, discuss, and practice ways of holding space for Emotional Intelligence in Threshold Spaces. Please consider joining us for the ICFLA EI SIG in 2026!

I have also joined forces with James Garrett at BrainByDesign, where I have had the distinct privilege of working with colleagues, Paula Miles and Sandra Clifton, to support aspiring female leaders in the workshop series, The Brain Science Advantage for Women Leaders.  Also check out the latest work at BrainByDesign – The Confidence Challenge and The Confident Finisher Program (where I have the delight of serving as a coach) – where we leverage neuroscience to overcome the roadblocks in your brain to achieve your most important goals!
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to learn more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group, BrainByDesign, and the Women’s Events. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations! 

As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of celebration, of reveling in gratitude and contentment, of paying attention to moments, the colors, and glimpses of beauty and light in the growth and expansion of the year! Thank you for being a part of my journey!