Tag: featured

Reflecting & Assessing – Three Thoughts for Thursday – December 2022

December 15, 2022

I dedicate this post to the strong women who inspired me, challenged me, and shaped me, and took their journey beyond this earth in 2022 – my grandmother Gwen, my great aunt, Ada, my Tia Margie, and my great Aunt Mary. You each left a legacy of strength, determination, faith, independence and inspiration, and your impact with continue in those you loved and left behind.

~

I thought I’d try something a little different this December.  As happens for me at the end of the year, I am deep in my efforts to make this holiday season special, I am reveling in the lights and candles and winter fires, and I’m also trying to find time and space in the chaos to be still, to reflect, and to savor the moments. 

Some of the themes coming up as I look back on the year are intentionality, living fully and authentically, looking ahead and not getting tripped up by short-sightedness, the importance of curiosity, juxtaposition, forgiveness, and surrender.  I am looking back, considering the fears and obstacles I’ve overcome, what I have accomplished and achieved, how I have felt, what and who have challenged me, what I need to let go of, what I might like to keep and repeat, and honoring the year that has been before looking to the year ahead. I am pausing for a moment and basking in these final days and moments of 2022, in the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs, peace and chaos; I am reveling in the beauty in this year of a wonderfully messy life.

In that vein, I thought rather than adding to the year’s list of quotes and books, and podcasts, I’d look back and offer up some of my favorites. So, here you will find my favorite quotes this holiday season, along with a few new podcasts resonating with my reflective state and encapsulating some of these aforementioned themes.  I’ve also provided a list of the books I’ve featured in 2022 in case you are wanting a good book to read over the winter break or need a gift idea.

As the year winds down for you, I hope you are also taking time for yourself, and that you might also take a moment to pause and reflect. What is your proudest moment or accomplishment this year? When was your lowest day, and when was your highest? What tripped you up and challenged you? What did you learn? How did you grow? Who made the greatest impact on you this year? How do you feel about the impact you had? What would you like to take forward with you? What might you need to let go of to create something new next year? How might you both surrender and move forward with intention? What brought you peace in the chaos? Who and what are you most grateful for as you reflect back on 2022?

Favorite Quotes from 2022:

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
~ Margaret Young ~
 
“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”
~ Unknown ~
 
“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.”
~ Elif Shafak ~
 
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
~ Albert Einstein ~
 
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek”
~ Joseph Campbell ~
 
Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.
~ Beau Taplin ~
 
“…this is too extraordinary. This is too wonderful. I must tell Botticelli that he was wrong. Suffering is not the answer. Light is the answer.” ~ Roscuro in The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo, Ch. 19
  
If you surrender to the wind, then you can ride it.
~Toni Morrison ~

Photo by Desiree Briel Rodi

What I’m listening to – Podcasts for the Season:

#292, How to Enjoy the Last Two Weeks of the Year

The Lazy Genius

This episode addresses expectations, one of my favorite topics that goes along with one of my favorite quotes from Richard Rohr, “Suffering comes from unmet expectations.” What expectations do you have that might threaten to cause you to suffer this holiday season and how might you let them go?

#533, A Self-Interested Case for Forgiveness, Jack Kornfield

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Forgiveness is key to reclaiming energy, making new ways, forging new relationships, and creating space for opportunity and possibility. Who and what might need forgiveness as you close out the year?

Super Soul Special: Oprah Winfrey –  FORGIVENESS

Oprah’s Super Soul

This podcast brings together so much wisdom from so many on the topic of forgiveness. Searching for peace and purpose is often a journey of forgiveness and release. Oprah prefaces the podcast with the other side of forgiveness is freedom!” She goes on to highlight this powerful insight from Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky. “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”  Forgiveness is about unburdening yourself from the weight of resentment you might be carrying around.

Take a moment to listen to some inspiring stories, perceptions and observations, and astute learnings from those who have traveled profound journeys to forgiveness and have found freedom on the other side.

What I’ve Read –  A Year-End Review:

January – Search Inside Yourself

By Chade-Meng Tan

February – Atlas of the Heart

By Brene Brown

March – David Whyte is a poet, author, speaker, philosopher.

April – The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

By Charlie Mackesy

May – Running with Purpose: How Brooks Outpaced Goliath Competitors to Lead the Pack

By Jim Weber, CEO of Brooks

June – Take Your Shoes Off First

By Julia Freeland

July – Courageous Clarity

By Phyllis Sarkaria

August – Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life

By Laura Gassner Otting

September –Bittersweet

By Susan Cain

October – The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves

By Shawn A. Ginwright

November – The Surrender Experiment: my journey into life’s perfection

by Michael A. Singer

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.
 
If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

 
In September, I hosted my first local, in-person event here in the Seattle area,  Savor the Sweetness.  It was a fulfilling experience and event, and I look forward to hosting quarterly events for local women in 2023 – stay tuned and contact me for more information or to join the invite list!

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my November Edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  In light of my continued themes on process and habits, you may also be interested in my series, Lessons of the Run – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. And if you could stand to hear more about processes and patterns, stay tuned for an upcoming expanded post on Examining the Process – Behind the Drive.
 
I have the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please stay tuned for another year of EI learning and growth as a part of these sessions.  You do not need to be a coach or a member of ICFLA to attend.

 
In September, I completed a year-long, quarterly series entitled “EQ and WooWoo” with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay. If you are intrigued and would like to learn more about future events, please email me. This workshop series was designed to help you manifest action towards the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve in 2022.  These quarterly sessions intertwined the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. New and related sessions will begin in 2023. Contact me for more information.
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 

As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of reflection, curiosity, clarity, and joy in the moments!

Sunsets and Seasons – Three Thoughts for Thursday – September 2022

September 15, 2022

The sunsets have been stunning, the colors bold and breathtaking. Likely, the forest fires raging in Oregon and southern Washington have a part to play in the way the light and pollution come together to create art in the sky as the day comes to a close, a reminder of how beauty can come even from endings and destruction.

As the summer comes to a close, I have been reflecting on the beauty of both the season and its end, and how the close of summer enhances my desire to embrace and enjoy every last moment. The sunsets have called me to pause and appreciate the beauty of a day’s end. These reflections around endings and destruction have also led me to again recognize how endings give way to beginnings, destruction gives way to new creation, and the importance of savoring the journey and the bittersweetness of these moments.

It is also in this transition from summer to fall that I reminisce on the butterfly migration in the Los Angeles area I was so privileged to witness while living there. While we were in LA this past April, we went to the butterfly gardens at the Natural History Museum. One of my very favorite experiences in LA was the mass migration of butterflies.  They were so thick in the air everywhere; it was as if we’d been invaded. So unexpected and such a pleasant surprise, these beautiful butterflies even surrounded us on the traffic-jammed highways! I arrived in LA for what would be a 2+-year sojourn, angry to be there, and left quite transformed by the colorful experience and deep friendships I gained. Our LA experience provided a new reference and definition for me of bittersweetness. Only at the end could I see the beauty of the personal transformation I’d undergone as the sunset on our time there and the butterflies undertook their journey.

As the sun sets on this day, on this season, both literal and metaphorical, what is ending for you? What do endings mean for you, and what emotions do they trigger? What is beginning? What beauty do you see in the finale? When and where have you experienced beauty in the breaking, in the ending? As you reflect on your life experiences, where do you see moments of bittersweetness? How have they shaped you? How have you shaped and made meaning of these moments?

Sunset over Lake Washington

Quote I’m pondering:

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.

~ Beau Taplin ~

What I’m reading:

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

I just finished listening to the Audible version of this book and absolutely loved it!  As someone who has been accused of being Eeyore, of being overly sentimental, of feeling a deep appreciation for the character, Sadness, in InsideOut, and as someone who walked down the aisle to Moonlight Sonata, this book spoke to me on so many levels.  I have come to feel great frustration with our cultural insistence/mandate to “be happy, just be happy,” ALL OF THE TIME! I believe what we so often think of as the “negative emotions” have a very important place and purpose, and at the very least, allow us to really know what it feels like when happiness comes within.
 
Thinking about sunsets, beauty in endings, and the breaking down involved in metamorphosis, makes me also consider my time living in Los Angeles, a time that truly allowed me to feel and experience bittersweetness. I showed up angry to be there and left changed and sad to say goodbye.  The transformation was all the things – painful and inexplicably wonderful all at once, and to say goodbye was both excruciating and exciting.

I hope you will give this book a read or a listen!  This book spoke to my soul. I felt a deep human connection and a new appreciation for my own life experience. I’d love to hear what you think!!

~

What Amazon has to say:

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Sadness is your superpower. In her new masterpiece, the author of the bestselling phenomenon Quiet explores the power of the bittersweet personality, revealing a misunderstood side of mental health and creativity while offering a roadmap to facing grief in order to live life to the fullest.
 
“Bittersweet grabs you by the heart and doesn’t let go.”—BRENÉ BROWN, author of Atlas of the Heart


“Susan Cain has described and validated my existence once again!”—GLENNON DOYLE, author of Untamed


“The perfect cure for toxic positivity.”—ADAM GRANT, author of Think Again

ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOKS OF 2022—Oprah Daily, BookPage

Bittersweetness is a tendency to states of long­ing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute aware­ness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world. It recognizes that light and dark, birth and death—bitter and sweet—are forever paired. 
 
If you’ve ever wondered why you like sad music . . . 
If you find comfort or inspiration in a rainy day . . . 
If you react intensely to music, art, nature, and beauty . . .
 
Then you probably identify with the bitter­sweet state of mind.
 
With Quiet, Susan Cain urged our society to cultivate space for the undervalued, indispensable introverts among us, thereby revealing an un­tapped power hidden in plain sight. Now she em­ploys the same mix of research, storytelling, and memoir to explore why we experience sorrow and longing, and how embracing the bittersweetness at the heart of life is the true path to creativity, con­nection, and transcendence.
 
Cain shows how a bittersweet state of mind is the quiet force that helps us transcend our personal and collective pain, whether from a death or breakup, addiction or illness. If we don’t acknowledge our own heartache, she says, we can end up inflicting it on others via abuse, domination, or neglect. But if we realize that all humans know—or will know—loss and suffering, we can turn toward one another. 
 
At a time of profound discord and personal anxiety, Bittersweet brings us together in deep and unexpected ways.

What I’m listening to:

I was so inspired by and resonated with Susan Cain’s Bittersweet that I sought out podcasts with her as a guest.  I found one new podcast I want to investigate beyond the interview with her and one old favorite, The Tim Ferris Show,  that I’ve found to provide consistent inspiration.  Let me know what you think!!

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck is a show focused on exploring the mindset and philosophy of some of the world’s most insightful people. John R. Miles unpacks guests’ wisdom on creating an intentional purpose-driven life and turns it into practical advice that you can use to impact your work, life, and relationships.

Episode 121: Susan Cain on Bittersweet, the Happiness of the Melancholy, and How Sorrow Creates the Union Between Souls

Susan Cain is one of my favorite authors and completely changed the way I viewed myself and my own strengths. Susan is the author of the Quiet Journal, Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, which spent eight years on The New York Times bestseller list, and has been translated into 40 languages. Her new masterpiece, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, is available now.

Susan’s first record-smashing TED Talk has been viewed more than 40 million times and was named by Bill Gates as one of his all-time favorite talks (and if you like that one, you should check out her most recent TED Talk with violinist Min Kym). LinkedIn named her the top sixth influencer in the world, just behind Richard Branson and Melinda Gates. Susan partners with Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, and Dan Pink to curate the Next Big Idea Club. They donate all of their proceeds to children’s literacy programs.

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make us Whole

In her new book, Susan discusses why sadness and the happiness of melancholy are key to achieving self-transcendence and the union between souls. As with the majority of people, you’ve probably been taught your entire life to look at the positive side and be happy no matter what. While there is a place for optimism and looking at the bright side, by burying your melancholy and sadness, you may actually be doing yourself a terrible disservice.

Additional Podcasts with Tim Ferris and Susan Cain:

The Tim Ferriss Show: #583: Susan Cain on Transforming Pain, Building Your Emotional Resilience, Exploring Sufi Wisdom, Tapping into Bittersweet Songs, and Seeking the Shards of Light

The Tim Ferriss Show: #357: Susan Cain — How to Overcome Fear and Embrace Creativity

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.

Women local to the Seattle area, you are invited to attend Savor the Sweetness on September 17th.  For more information and to RSVP, please click here.

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my August Edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  In light of my continued theme on process, you may also be interested in my series, Lessons of the Run – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. And if you could stand to hear more about processes and patterns, stay tuned for an upcoming expanded post on Examining the Process – Behind the Drive.
 
If you are interested, or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

Beginning last year, in April 2021, I have had the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join us for September’s session on Tuesday, the 27th  of September, with special guest, James Garrett of BrainByDesign, who will offer The Brain Science of Overcoming Fear.

 For more information on the next “EQ and WooWoo” workshop (Thursday, September 22nd) with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay, please email me or RSVP. This workshop series is designed to help you manifest action towards the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve.  We will be hosting quarterly sessions that intertwine the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. September will focus on Relationship Management, harvesting what you’ve planted, and continuing to care for the relationships you are building and maintaining.
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 
As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of stunning sunsets, moments that take your breath away, and recognition of the beauty in the bittersweet!

Part III – Lessons from the Run: REST

October 15, 2020

How many of you don’t believe in making time for rest?  Who thinks of rest as a waste of time or as indulgent?  Any of you tell yourselves, “As soon as I complete these tasks, then I’ll rest” and then the list of tasks just keeps growing?  Who worries you’ll get left behind or passed by?

From my experience, professionally, academically and personally, it is a badge of honor, a bragging point not to “need” rest.  Oh, the irony that this post has taken me so long to finally write, not because I’ve been letting myself take a break from writing or working or adding to my to-do list, I’ll be honest, but rather I continue to fill my plate to overflowing, and even an essay on the importance of rest falls to the bottom, ha!  I realize fully the value of rest and certainly am careful to rest when it comes to running, however I have been deeply challenged to integrate the theme into other aspects of my life.  In writing this post, I am reminded once again that my journey to integrate the lessons of the run and rest into other areas of my life continues.  In sharing the what I have learned about rest as it pertains to training for a marathon, I fully own that change is hard and at the same time, worth pursuing.

From the run, I have learned the importance of rest the hard way, of course!  When I began running marathons after college, I took on the challenge in order to fill a void, to fill a sense of not being enough.  All of my college friends were applying to grad school, PhD programs, law school, business school, med school, or negotiating high-paying jobs in finance.  I didn’t know what I really wanted to do and was feeling less than, so achiever that I am, I set out to run a marathon. I had to keep up!!

In high school, I went out for cross-country my sophomore year and wanting to be successful, I trained hard, ran every day, and tackled those two-a-day training sessions with ambition, determination, and grit.  I ended up with a stress fracture so severe I wasn’t able to walk and didn’t just get one of the removable boots to wear while it healed, but qualified for six weeks in an old-school cast.  Lesson learned: I can’t run everyday.

So when I set out to train for my first marathon, I looked up training plans, and knowing I personally couldn’t run everyday, I used them as a basis and improvised. I knew I needed to log miles, but I also needed to build my lung capacity, endurance, and cardiovascular stamina.  I swam, weight-trained, went to spin classes and ran three times per week, careful to also mix up my running days with speed work and distance training. 

My plan of attack worked, and I successfully completed my first marathon, the Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA, injury-free.  Life happened and I got distracted from running another marathon for a few years, but after that first race, I was set on running another.  I completed my second marathon four years later and by that time had set a goal to run 5 before my 30th birthday, which meant running four more in the course of about a year.  I still had the urge to somehow keep up with some internal, personal and ever-moving goal. I made it through three of the four needed and felt pretty confident I had my training all figured out.  

I decided to hire a personal trainer to help me get faster, and while I didn’t really feel the need to run the Boston Marathon, I thought qualifying would make me feel like a real runner.  Up until this point, I didn’t yet think of myself as a runner.  Imposter Syndrome is a topic for another post…

The trainer put together a plan that included rest days, but I was feeling so good and getting so fast, seeing such great results, that I decided to take things into my own hands.  I was also addicted to the run by this point, so rest days found me feeling a bit itchy and irritable. I started ignoring the rest days and logging more miles. 

My next marathon was in three weeks and I was set to run the fastest marathon I’d ever run, and to blow out of the water, the qualifying time for Boston.  I set out on an 18-mile run just before the taper of my training plan and at mile 17, I couldn’t make myself run another step.  I limped my way home, convincing myself I just needed a few days off and some ice.  I even swallowed my stubborn pride and made myself a doctor’s appointment to confirm my self-diagnosis that nothing was wrong that a little rest couldn’t remedy before race day.

Two partial muscle tears and a stress-fracture were my diagnosis.  There would be no marathon for me.  In fact, the doctor advised against running for the next 12-16 weeks.  I was crushed and crawling out of my skin like an addict without a running fix.

This painful period without running really drove the lesson home. The lessons of the run taught me the importance of rest which has slowly over the years also translated to life.  As I noted, I still struggle with creating space to fill my cup, to do nothing, to rest, but when I do, I see the value and celebrate that I chose to pause instead of running myself into the ground chasing the end of the never-ending to-do list.  Letting my brain rest is as important as letting my body rest, and I’m always energized after the downtime, able to see with fresh eyes, able to adapt, flex and build with new creativity and zest.

Since that painful experience that finally taught me the importance of taking rest days from running, I have completed seven more marathons, including Boston, after finally earning a qualifying time.  I stopped running anything more than two marathons a year.  I took time and dealt with the underlying issues driving me to run, causing the addiction, and began running for fun rather than out of necessity.  And, I finally, once and for all,  learned the value of those rest days my trainer emphasized were so important. The days off from running are as essential to running a successful marathon as the days I run intervals or hills or distance.

Rest is still a work in progress outside of running, but I am dedicated to pursuing the lesson and breaking the habits of too much work and not enough downtime. I know I’m not alone in this struggle to see the value in rest.  What keeps you from learning the lesson?  What keeps you from resting?  What is really behind all the excuses?  What happens when you continuously allow the excuses to win? How might you reframe rest and give rest the importance and value it deserves and thereby finally value yourself enough to rest?

Photo by Angelina Kichukova on Unsplash

Three Thoughts for Thursday – September 2020

September 17, 2020
Photo by John Tower

Here in the Pacific Northwest, as fall approaches, we typically welcome back the fog and rain.  This year, it is hard to separate the moisture in the air, the fog, and the smoke that has blanketed our world.  We are surrounded by devastating fires in California, Oregon, and Eastern Washington, and weather patterns out of the ordinary have created a unique situation that has kept the smoke from these other places trapped in the Puget Sound area.  Leave it to 2020 to hand us another challenge.  As I drove across Lake Washington yesterday, the smoke was so thick, I couldn’t even see the water I knew was next to and beneath me on the bridge. I couldn’t see the city, the familiar Space Needle, but rather I was enveloped, only able to see the necessary amount ahead to safely proceed. 

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have been wrestling with the lessons of 2020 – Coronavirus, racial tensions, political mess, and now natural disaster.  In some ways, I feel isolated, and yet in other ways I feel more connected on a human level as we are seemingly being brought to our knees, rocked to the core of our humanity.  I have felt humbled by the complete lack of control. With no end in sight and no guarantees that 2021 will miraculously bring with it and end to our problems, I keep thinking about the lessons.  I keep thinking about humility and asking what it is we need to learn; what it is I can learn.  I keep thinking about the smoke and the way it has further obscured my view of the future and necessitated my trust and faith in knowing what exists beyond my sight yet, knowing like yesterday I can see only what I need to see, only the road in front of me.

I’ve been reminded of something important and valuable I learned from both a course on emotional intelligence and through the evidence-based coaching program I completed – this idea of getting humble and allowing humility to inspire sincere curiosity.  I have been inspired to strive to meet people where they are and to see through their lens. I have been challenged to build bridges without seeing the other side first and to trust in the core of our humanity to connect us.

As we are being stripped of our past ways of being, what does it mean to let go and be humbled?  How do we make the most of the life we are living right now?  How do we accept our limited view and stop trying to plan too far into the future? What do we already know that will guide us in this time of uncertainty?  This year, 2020, seems intent on slowing us down, on humbling us and reminding us of our past missteps.  The bridge is there, just as it was yesterday when I made my way blindly into Seattle. We simply need to take one careful, deliberate step at a time.  How might we allow humility to help us proceed with care and to create wiser, more intentional bridges and paths forward?  How do we embrace the destruction and slow breaking, and thoughtfully, carefully grow something new, nourished by the ashes of the past?

Photo by Daniel Plan

Poem I am sitting with, pondering, and finding inspiration in:

Fragile
By Nic Askew

We are fragile. You and me.

Though we act strong,
our lives are
held together with
thoughts of where
we might be tomorrow.
And of disappointed
yesterdays.

At any moment we might shatter.
We might fall to our knees
weighed down by the terror
of being so far from
our own control.

Dare we look up, we’d not know
where to go or what to do.

We are fragile. You and me.

If we turn to each other,
we might see the whole world
on their knees.
Hurting, and seemingly
alone.

But none of us are.

We are fragile together.

Podcast I’m Listening to:

Coaching for Leaders with Dave Stachowiak

Dave Stachowiak founded Coaching for Leaders in 2011. He was named in Forbes as one of the 25 Professional Networking Experts to Watch in 2015 and has also been featured in U.S. News & World Report. He notes that he found himself at the intersection of business and education throughout his career.

Previously he served as Senior Vice President with Dale Carnegie of Southern Los Angeles and led training programs for top organizations like the Northrop Grumman Corporation, The United States Air Force, the Boeing Company, and the University of California system.

During his tenure at Dale Carnegie, he was recognized multiple times with international business awards. His credentials include a doctoral degree in organizational leadership from Pepperdine University, certification as a facilitator with Dale Carnegie, and a certification as Coach U graduate. He has taught years of graduate courses in leadership and education at Vanguard University and serves on the board of the Global Center for Women & Justice. Additionally, he also co-hosts the Ending Human Trafficking podcast with friend, Sandie Morgan.

Dave has also been passed up for promotions, failed at launching his first business, and still fights through an occasional fear of speaking to people.  He lives in Southern California with his wife and two children.

Episode #488: Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi

Don’t be deterred by the title as it seems to go against the idea promoted by Simon Sinek that leaders should “eat last”, at least that was my husband’s first reaction when I shared the title of the podcast I’d found inspiring.  Keith Ferrazzi offers insight into creating an environment of authenticity and psychological safety by walking the talk as a leader, by meeting others where they are rather than expecting them to meet you halfway.  By having the humility to take the first step, going first, and choosing to be a leader who is authentic and transparent, you set the tone and create the container for those around you to show up the same way.  Another insight that struck me and is still sitting with me is that “fear and scarcity breed perfectionism.” This helped me to think more deeply about my own penchant for perfectionism and the drivers behind my efforts.  In order to change, one must first see what lies beneath.  I have been inspired by the new lens, and hope you find some inspiration and new awareness through this podcast, too.

Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a management consulting and team coaching company that works with many of the world’s biggest corporations. A graduate of Harvard Business School, Keith rose to become the youngest CMO of a Fortune 500 company during his career at Deloitte, and later became CMO if Starwood Hotels.

Keith is a frequent contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Fortune, and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Who’s Got Your Back, and Never Eat Alone. He’s the author of the new book, Leading without Authority: How the New Power of Co-Elevation Can Break Down Silos, Transform Teams, and Reinvent Collaboration.

In this conversation, Keith and Dave discuss the importance of co-elevation in leadership. They also explore the six deadly sins that leaders should avoid and discuss why it’s not all on you, especially at the start.

Photo by Cristofer Jeschke

Book I am Reading and Reflecting Upon:

What caught my attention about this book was the idea humility and trust are key to adaptability and successfully navigating change – key to our success in this current environment of global change.  Also, these themes of creating psychological safety, embracing diverse workforces, and collaborative problem solving all seem essential in our world as we know it.

Humble Leadership: The Power of Relationships, Openness and Trust by Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein

Bestselling author and father of organizational culture studies, Edgar Schein and Peter Schein trail-blaze with a creative perspective on leadership that encourages vulnerability and empathy as a form of strength.

The more traditional forms of leadership that are based on static hierarchies and professional distance between leaders and followers are growing increasingly outdated and ineffective. As organizations face more complex interdependent tasks, leadership must become more personal in order to ensure open trusting communication that will make more collaborative problem solving and innovation possible. Without open and trusting communications throughout organizations, they will continue to face the productivity and quality problems that result from reward systems that emphasize individual competition and “climbing the corporate ladder”. Authors Edgar Schein and Peter Schein recognize this reality and call for a reimagined form of leadership that coincides with emerging trends of relationship building, complex group work, diverse workforces, and cultures in which everyone feels psychologically safe. Humble Leadership calls for “here and now” humility based on a deeper understanding of the constantly evolving complexities of interpersonal, group and intergroup relationships that require shifting our focus towards the process of group dynamics and collaboration. Humble Leadership at all levels and in all working groups will be the key to achieving the creativity, adaptiveness, and agility that organizations will need to survive and grow.

Photo by Joanne Francis

Please check out my latest blog posts on Lessons from the Run, Part 1: Mile 18 – Endurance, and Lessons from the Run, Part 2: Resilience, and stay tuned for the next addition Lessons of the Run, Part 3: Rest, as well as my upcoming blog post on My Vision: The Power of EQ to Create Change!  If you missed my August edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, you can find it here, on my blog as well. As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!