Category: Parents and Children

Another Chance – April 2022 – Three Thoughts for Thursday

April 21, 2022

Another Chance

I am often inspired by nature, the seasons, and the cadence of life around us, as well as the view through the eyes of my children. Spring comes every year and offers another opportunity to try again, to do something new, to grow and change, a do-over if you will. This past month, we took our first spring break trip, our first big trip on an airplane, since February of 2020. I feel so fortunate to have been able to take our first family vacation, a real vacation, since COVID.  We’ve taken road trips and spent some time in an Airbnb or two along the way, but this was the first time in 26 months that we boarded an airplane. This was Sally’s first flight, and given the passage of so much time, seemed like a first for the boys, too.  A silver lining of COVID, my kids don’t take such trips and flights for granted anymore. It was pure joy to travel for the first time again!  So much seemed new!

We went to Southern California where we soaked up the sun and time with friends and family we hadn’t seen in over two years. The boys shared some of their favorite places with their sister (we called Los Angeles home from 2017 to mid-2019), while simultaneously experiencing them all anew – Legoland, the San Diego Zoo, the Space Shuttle Endeavor, the Natural History Museum in LA, Noah’s Ark at the Skirball Center, sunset on the beach – so much goodness and joy, a taste of newness even in revisiting old favorites.

This travel experience makes me think about the opportunity spring presents each year – an opportunity to plant and grow something new and different, an opportunity to grow something old and familiar in a new way, an opportunity to reinvent, try again, to grow after a season or more of remaining the same, a chance to see new opportunity, and a time of rebirth. Every spring, there is another occasion to start fresh, to try again, to try anew, to show up differently, to see differently, a “do-over” and a chance to appreciate things/people/experiences more deeply.

This spring, what are you seeing as if for the first time? What are you noticing with new eyes? What is being illuminated for you or providing you clarity? What might you do or what might you change to see things from a new vantage point or through a new lens? Where are you feeling stuck and in need of a new way of seeing in order to move forward? As we begin to reemerge, what are you more deeply appreciating and savoring, as if familiar and new all at once?

Ducks we saw while having lunch outdoors in San Diego

Quote I am Pondering:

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
​— Attributed to Rabindranath Tagore​

​

Santa Monica Sunrise

What I’m listening to:

 This podcast came across my path via email from a colleague at Seattle University where I teach as an Adjunct Faculty in the Albers School of Business, Department of Management.  The content both encouraged me and challenged me as I considered my own journey to stay present and aware, conscious, and in the moment, as well as my desire to share ideas and content in this email that resonates and people will like.  The theme of being liked hit home as I have been pondering ways to grow my audience and have worried about people losing interest. At the same time, the joy of our spring break and the reminders to embrace each moment and take all that life has to offer, with acceptance and gratitude also sat with me. So, I challenged myself to listen openly and to share openly.
 

The Commitment to Stay Conscious
Michael Singer Podcast, Season 2, Episode 3

Even when you’ve devoted yourself to spiritual work, it can be difficult to maintain mindful awareness. In this episode, Michael speaks on the difficulty of maintaining consciousness and equanimity when we seem hardwired to be hooked by outside stimuli.
 

Sunrise Run in Santa Monica

What I’m reading:


The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
By Charlie Mackesy

This quick read is packed full of insight and human wisdom.  One of my favorite moments was this exchange between the Mole and the Boy:

Mole, “I am so small!”
Boy,  “Yes, but you make a huge difference!”
 
What Amazon has to say:
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER · WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER  · USA TODAY BESTSELLER

“The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse is not only a thought-provoking, discussion-worthy story, but the book itself is also an object of art.”- Elizabeth Egan, The New York Times

From British illustrator, artist, and author Charlie Mackesy comes a journey for all ages that explores life’s universal lessons, featuring 100 color and black-and-white drawings.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” asked the mole.
“Kind,” said the boy.

Charlie Mackesy offers inspiration and hope in uncertain times in this beautiful book, following the tale of a curious boy, a greedy mole, a wary fox, and a wise horse who find themselves together in sometimes difficult terrain, sharing their greatest fears and biggest discoveries about vulnerability, kindness, hope, friendship, and love. The shared adventures and important conversations between the four friends are full of life lessons that have connected with readers of all ages. 

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.
 
Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my March edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  
 
Beginning in April 2021, I have had the privilege of Co-Hosting with Kathy Hadizadeh, the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join us next week for April’s session on Tuesday, the 26th of the month as we explore our coaching lenses and how they can impact our clients! 
 
For more information on the next “EQ and WooWoo” workshop (Thursday, June 23rd) with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay, please RSVP or email me for more information. This workshop series is designed to help you manifest action towards the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve.  We will be hosting quarterly sessions that intertwine the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. June will focus on Social Awareness, tending to the seeds you’ve planted, and caring for the things you are growing.
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 
As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of “firsts”, of seeing anew, of do-overs, excitement, and joy!
 

Three Thoughts for Thursday – February 2022

February 17, 2022

Inspiring Heart-Work, Creativity, and Magic!

With Valentine’s Day right in the middle of February, this month always makes me think of love and matters of the heart.  I’ve been inspired to tend to the relationships around me and to consider how well I love and care for myself, reminding myself of the example I am setting for my children on a daily basis.  I challenged myself to write on a red, cutout heart each day, for each of my kids, something I love and appreciate about them. I noticed how this shifted my moods on days I felt rushed and grumpy, and how even on days I felt positive, loving, and patient, how this brought me added joy, this pausing to consider all the ways and traits and things I love about each of my children.

As I write this, I am wondering what I would write and how I would feel if I challenged myself to think of something each day that I love and appreciate about myself.  So often, and I know I am not alone, I am quick to criticize myself and rarely think of the things I’ve done well or like about myself. Perhaps that is the challenge for me and for you as we finish out the month of February – consider each day what you love and appreciate about yourself and write it down!  Notice how you feel when you acknowledge good, positive, wonderful things about yourself and write that down, too. What comes up for you?  Is this task easy or difficult and why? What if you make this a habit?  How do you start to feel? How does your view of yourself begin to shift? How does the tone of your inner voice change?

Photo by JACQUELINE BRANDWAYN on Unsplash

Quote(s) I am Pondering:

One of my favorite times of day is when I get to read with one of my kids before bed.  This is a task my husband and I divide and conquer.  One of the books I recently read with my younger son was The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo.  This quote stood out and made me ponder, along with the second quote I came across elsewhere that also seemed to fit.  These quotes made me think of the various ways we can approach brokenness and pieces, with carelessness or intention. Our attitudes can determine the outcome of how we bring the pieces together and what we make of them.

“There are those hearts, reader, that never mend again once they are broken. Or if they do mend, they heal themselves in a crooked and lopsided way, as if sewn together by a careless craftsman.”

~ Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux ~

“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”

~ Unknown ~

Podcast I’m Listening To and Appreciating:

Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert #BigMagic

Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

which I featured in my Three Thoughts for Thursday, November 2020.

In this podcast series, Elizabeth Gilbert sets out to provide “roadmaps for creativity.”  She takes the subject of creativity out into the world to have real conversations with real people, giving us the extra nudge we need when we’re feeling stuck in our creative lives. This podcast was intended to “help another batch of aspiring artists overcome their fears and create more joyfully.”

Unfortunately, there are only two seasons of this podcast, but it is still worth the listen! What are your creative gifts and what are you doing to nourish and use them?

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Book I’m Reading:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

What Amazon has to say:

In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances—a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.
 
Over the past two decades, Brown’s extensive research into the experiences that make us who we are has shaped the cultural conversation and helped define what it means to be courageous with our lives. Atlas of the Heart draws on this research, as well as on Brown’s singular skills as a storyteller, to show us how accurately naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power—it gives us the power of understanding, meaning, and choice.
 
Brown shares, “I want this book to be an atlas for all of us, because I believe that, with an adventurous heart and the right maps, we can travel anywhere and never fear losing ourselves.”

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions.   You can also find my most recent posts, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and Losing Sight, along with my January edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday here, on my blog, as well. Beginning in April 2021, I have had the privilege of Co-Hosting with Kathy Hadizadeh, the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join us next week, on Tuesday, February 22nd at 11:00 am PST for our first session of 2022, The Impact of our Blindspots on our Coaching with our very special guest and EI and coaching expert, Alison Whitmire, President of Learning in Action. 

In January, I kicked off the workshop series “EQ and WooWoo” with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay, designed to begin the new year with manifestation in mind.  We will be hosting quarterly sessions that intertwine the use of Tarot and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching work deeper and create intentional action. Upcoming sessions will take place on March 22nd, June 23, and September 21 – email or watch for future announcements for details on how to register.

If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the link above to find out more about ICFLA’s workshops and watch for more information on registering for March’s Curate Your Garden: Workshop 2 in the year-long series on “EQ and WooWoo”.  I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 
As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!

Wishing you a season of light and love – both for yourself and those around you!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Repair Conversations – How to recover from word wounds and misunderstandings in the workplace and at home

April 23, 2020

Whoever said “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was mistaken!  Words can be hurtful and often times things unsaid can also do damage. In this time of high anxiety, with so many complicated situations at home, there is plenty of opportunity for misunderstandings and wounds inflicted by words.  Emotions are running high, and there seems to be a global cloud, low-lying and hard to see, but heavy upon us, of fear, anxiety, and gloom.

I ache for those who are navigating this crisis without a job or the means to weather this unpredictable situation.  I shudder to comprehend the added stress and pressure of financial insecurity while also being in isolation. I honor those deemed essential employees who are courageously still going to work to allow the world to still run, even if at a significantly slower pace.  And while many of us ought to be grateful for the opportunity to work from home, this still creates a new and challenging dynamic.  If you’re anything like me, you like choices and control, so the loss of choice and control is frustrating and hard to accept. Whether you’ve lost your job, are overworked and tired, or are able to work from home, none of us is likely functioning at our best.

When emotions run high, and we fail to have empathy with our co-workers, our spouse, our children, our neighbors, our friends, we fail to show up the way we’d like to and often say or do things that only make the situation worse.  In this time, these misunderstandings and wounds are going to happen, it is just a fact.  However, there is something we can learn to do to strengthen relationships rather than harm them – we can learn to embrace and have repair conversations.

What is a repair conversation?  It is pretty much exactly as it sounds, but goes a bit further than simply saying sorry to make peace.  Here are the steps to successfully have a repair conversation and ensure that the repair isn’t just a cheap bandaid that’s lost its stick, but rather one that truly aids in the recovery of the wound.

  1. Make space to cool down and reflect
  2. Take note of what you were feeling and your reaction. How did you feel physically and emotionally?
  3. Consider the trigger. What caused the reaction? Where did your mind go?
  4. Own your part. What was your story or understanding/misunderstanding that led to the trigger then reaction?
  5. How could you have reacted differently? How would you have liked to have responded?
  6. What insights would be helpful to share? What do you want for the relationship? What do you want for yourself?

Use these reflective questions and considerations to have an honest and open conversation.  Be authentic while taking into consideration how the other person will perceive your words and being careful to choose them wisely.  Be intentional, humble, and be willing to have these conversations again and again.

perry-grone-lbLgFFlADrY-unsplash (3)Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash