Tag: Creating and Owning the Journey

Expanding & Aligning – Three Thoughts for Thursday – January 2023

January 23, 2023

Expanding and Aligning with Possibilities and Opportunities

As I write this, it is Tuesday, and I am in the moment, practicing letting go…I just drafted my thoughts for January on surrendering expectations and expanding possibilities and opportunities, only to fail to save the draft and to be forced to begin again.  Ironic?! Ouch!  Accepting the disappointment, frustration, and breathing deeply as I begin again…
 
January typically feels like the doldrums to me; a great letdown after months of holidays and excitement.  After several years of working on accepting January and on reframing in order to more fully embrace the month, I have noticed I feel pretty neutral and open to the month of January, open to the lessons that lie ahead, open to experiencing something different than feeling disappointed, let down, disoriented, by the hard shift to quiet.
 
I had planned to attend Fielding’s Winter Session for the Ph.D. program I am in, in person, in Santa Barbara for the first time in three years, and only the second time in my time as a Ph.D. student.  I boarded a flight directly to Santa Barbara, planning to make the conference my only focus. When the time approached for the flight to take off, instead, we were deplaned, and the flight was canceled as the Santa Barbara airport closed due to flooding. I quickly made plan B and made the necessary arrangements to change my flight to land in LA later that evening.  I was planning to meet my good friend from college in SB for an evening to catch up.  Instead, she offered to pick me up in LA, and we’d drive up the coast together. We made it to Camarillo before the roads closed.  Thankfully we found hotel rooms, ran to Trader Joe’s nearby, and spent the evening together. We’d still achieve the goal of conversation and time spent together.
 
The next day, the roads were still closed, so I made the tough decision to cancel the rest of my planned trip to Santa Barbara.  Alaska Airlines was willing to fly me back from LA, and a good friend in LA was ready and willing to host me.  We even got to go to dinner at a favorite restaurant. Originally, I was to fly back on the 12th, but then the airline decided to send me home on the 11th.  Truth be told, having wrapped my mind around leaving on the 12th, I was disappointed again.  Another situation in which to practice acceptance – acceptance of the circumstances and of the disappointment.
 
I arrived home, and we headed out on our annual trip to Suncadia for my husband’s birthday weekend.  We had a great time playing in the snow, tubing, sledding, snowshoeing, ice skating, swimming, and of course, going down the water slides!  On our final day, we headed to the pool before driving home.  My first trip down the slide entailed falling up the stairs and scraping up both shins and a knee.  I had the full “kid experience” of joy, disappointment, frustration, pain, and a choice to make – let an injury ruin my time or regroup and dive back into the fun.  I took a moment and felt grateful my kids could witness this experience of mom being in their shoes, of mom getting hurt and having to make a decision about what to do next. I took care of my wounds and returned to the slide to end our weekend with 25 trips down the slide in the books. I was also grateful to have the example of my kids, who are resilient and so quick to recover; they inspired me to jump back into the fun, too. I was again reminded of the importance of feeling all the emotions, accepting what is, and choosing how to go forward in each of these experiences.  I am sitting with gratitude for this January reminder that it doesn’t take the start of a new year to make a change, to choose a different path, or to show up differently.  Each season, each month, each week, each new day, and each breath we take presents an opportunity to start again.
 
So, this January, this week, this day, this moment, this breath, what needs acceptance?  What needs to change? What needs to be let go of? How will you move forward? Who will you become? How will you show up for yourself and others in a new way that will support your growth and honor theirs? What will you bring forth? As you inhale, pause, and exhale, how might you begin to see all the opportunities and possibilities for change? As the sun rises again, what does this new day offer and what will you do with the offer?

Quote I’m pondering:

“In the game of life, what I’m solving for is regret minimization. . .I want the highest score in net fulfillment.”

~ Bill Perkins ~

What I’m listening to:

Optimizing Life for Maximum Fulfillment, Episode #237

The Drive with Peter Attia

Bill Perkins is one of the world’s most successful hedge fund managers and entrepreneurs, and the author of the bestseller, Die With Zero. In this episode, Bill unpacks the Die With Zero philosophy which challenges conventional thinking related to the balance between health, wealth, and time—the three variables important for fulfillment. Bill makes the case that we should strive for maximum net fulfillment rather than net worth (or even health). He argues that we need to optimize our life to have memorable experiences before it’s too late and that most people are over-saving and under-living. Bill also explains how one can apply the principles in Die With Zero to break out of “autopilot” and optimize their life to achieve maximum net fulfillment.

Peter and Bill discuss:

  • Bill’s upbringing, background, and first job on Wall Street [3:15];
  • A missed experience and feeling of regret that shaped Bill’s thinking [14:15];
  • Thinking in terms of time, and the relationship between money, time, and health [17:00];
  • Solving for net fulfillment and allocating your time based on the seasons of life [27:15];
  • How Bill thinks about risk, opportunity costs, and the difference between fear and risk tolerance [35:30];
  • Optimizing for fulfillment, finding purpose outside of work, and more [41:45];
  • Thinking about the order of experiences you want to have based on seasons of life [50:00];
  • Bill’s unique perspective on philanthropy and a more impactful way to give money away [54:45];
  • Applying the principles in ‘Die With Zero’ to maximize fulfillment [1:04:00];
  • How to break out of living life on autopilot [1:14:30];
  • When should your net worth peak? [1:18:00];
  • Taking calculated risks [1:21:30];
  • Bill shares a lesson from his incredible birthday [1:25:15];
  • How Bill’s philosophy has evolved since writing Die With Zero [1:34:00]; and
  • More

Don’t be surprised if Bill’s book, Die With Zero comes up again in a future post…

What I’m reading:

This book has been sitting with me and impacting me already with the ideas of aligning with what is and the direction of what is unfolding before me in order to increase resilience and joy in life. I have been inspired by the ideas of how I might accept, cultivate and make the most of what has been given to me rather than spending so much energy longing and striving for something else, perhaps something not meant for me at all. I’m curious about what might come from pausing, being present, aligning, and investing in cultivating all that I’ve already been generously provided; my new endeavor is acceptance, expansion, and peace.

Resonate: Zen and the Way of Making a Difference by Ginny Whitelaw

In a world of great noise, disruption, and dysfunction, it’s hard to be heard or know how to make a difference. But master the principal underlying change, and you can live your most significant, joyful, and resilient life. That principle is resonance, and Resonate is your guide. In these pages, you’ll discover

  • How resonance does everything
  • How you can become a more resonant being
  • How you can apply resonance to bring about change, from love and relationships, to goals and dreams, to large-scale social change

You’ve likely heard of “being on the same wavelength.” But prepare to be surprised by how pervasive resonance is, and how powerfully you can affect it. Resonance connects the inner and outer worlds, linking subjective experience and objective impact. It cannot be faked or fooled; resonance is a physical fact. But how we resonate is a choice, a condition we can cultivate. Combining the physics of energy transfer in the human body with physical practices adopted from Zen training, Resonate uniquely integrates how we can develop ourselves to change our world. Let Resonate show the Way.

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.
 
If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.
 
In September 2022, I completed a year-long, quarterly series entitled “EQ and WooWoo” with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay. If you are intrigued and would like to learn more about this year’s series, Yoga, EQ & WooWoo, please email me or click here to see what we have planned with Hola House. This workshop series was designed to help you manifest action toward the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve.  These quarterly sessions intertwine the use of Yoga, Tarot (and other WooWoo tools), and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper.
 
Also, in September, I hosted my first local, in-person event here in the Seattle area, Savor the Sweetness.  It was a fulfilling experience and event, and I look forward to hosting quarterly events for local women in 2023 – stay tuned and contact me for more information or to join the invite list!
 
I have the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please stay tuned for another year of EI learning and growth as a part of these sessions.  You do not need to be a coach or a member of ICFLA to attend.
  
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 
As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of expansion, opportunity, possibility, and the courage to embrace and align!
 

Reflecting & Assessing – Three Thoughts for Thursday – December 2022

December 15, 2022

I dedicate this post to the strong women who inspired me, challenged me, and shaped me, and took their journey beyond this earth in 2022 – my grandmother Gwen, my great aunt, Ada, my Tia Margie, and my great Aunt Mary. You each left a legacy of strength, determination, faith, independence and inspiration, and your impact with continue in those you loved and left behind.

~

I thought I’d try something a little different this December.  As happens for me at the end of the year, I am deep in my efforts to make this holiday season special, I am reveling in the lights and candles and winter fires, and I’m also trying to find time and space in the chaos to be still, to reflect, and to savor the moments. 

Some of the themes coming up as I look back on the year are intentionality, living fully and authentically, looking ahead and not getting tripped up by short-sightedness, the importance of curiosity, juxtaposition, forgiveness, and surrender.  I am looking back, considering the fears and obstacles I’ve overcome, what I have accomplished and achieved, how I have felt, what and who have challenged me, what I need to let go of, what I might like to keep and repeat, and honoring the year that has been before looking to the year ahead. I am pausing for a moment and basking in these final days and moments of 2022, in the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs, peace and chaos; I am reveling in the beauty in this year of a wonderfully messy life.

In that vein, I thought rather than adding to the year’s list of quotes and books, and podcasts, I’d look back and offer up some of my favorites. So, here you will find my favorite quotes this holiday season, along with a few new podcasts resonating with my reflective state and encapsulating some of these aforementioned themes.  I’ve also provided a list of the books I’ve featured in 2022 in case you are wanting a good book to read over the winter break or need a gift idea.

As the year winds down for you, I hope you are also taking time for yourself, and that you might also take a moment to pause and reflect. What is your proudest moment or accomplishment this year? When was your lowest day, and when was your highest? What tripped you up and challenged you? What did you learn? How did you grow? Who made the greatest impact on you this year? How do you feel about the impact you had? What would you like to take forward with you? What might you need to let go of to create something new next year? How might you both surrender and move forward with intention? What brought you peace in the chaos? Who and what are you most grateful for as you reflect back on 2022?

Favorite Quotes from 2022:

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
~ Margaret Young ~
 
“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”
~ Unknown ~
 
“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.”
~ Elif Shafak ~
 
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
~ Albert Einstein ~
 
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek”
~ Joseph Campbell ~
 
Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.
~ Beau Taplin ~
 
“…this is too extraordinary. This is too wonderful. I must tell Botticelli that he was wrong. Suffering is not the answer. Light is the answer.” ~ Roscuro in The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo, Ch. 19
  
If you surrender to the wind, then you can ride it.
~Toni Morrison ~

Photo by Desiree Briel Rodi

What I’m listening to – Podcasts for the Season:

#292, How to Enjoy the Last Two Weeks of the Year

The Lazy Genius

This episode addresses expectations, one of my favorite topics that goes along with one of my favorite quotes from Richard Rohr, “Suffering comes from unmet expectations.” What expectations do you have that might threaten to cause you to suffer this holiday season and how might you let them go?

#533, A Self-Interested Case for Forgiveness, Jack Kornfield

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Forgiveness is key to reclaiming energy, making new ways, forging new relationships, and creating space for opportunity and possibility. Who and what might need forgiveness as you close out the year?

Super Soul Special: Oprah Winfrey –  FORGIVENESS

Oprah’s Super Soul

This podcast brings together so much wisdom from so many on the topic of forgiveness. Searching for peace and purpose is often a journey of forgiveness and release. Oprah prefaces the podcast with the other side of forgiveness is freedom!” She goes on to highlight this powerful insight from Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky. “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”  Forgiveness is about unburdening yourself from the weight of resentment you might be carrying around.

Take a moment to listen to some inspiring stories, perceptions and observations, and astute learnings from those who have traveled profound journeys to forgiveness and have found freedom on the other side.

What I’ve Read –  A Year-End Review:

January – Search Inside Yourself

By Chade-Meng Tan

February – Atlas of the Heart

By Brene Brown

March – David Whyte is a poet, author, speaker, philosopher.

April – The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

By Charlie Mackesy

May – Running with Purpose: How Brooks Outpaced Goliath Competitors to Lead the Pack

By Jim Weber, CEO of Brooks

June – Take Your Shoes Off First

By Julia Freeland

July – Courageous Clarity

By Phyllis Sarkaria

August – Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life

By Laura Gassner Otting

September –Bittersweet

By Susan Cain

October – The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves

By Shawn A. Ginwright

November – The Surrender Experiment: my journey into life’s perfection

by Michael A. Singer

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.
 
If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

 
In September, I hosted my first local, in-person event here in the Seattle area,  Savor the Sweetness.  It was a fulfilling experience and event, and I look forward to hosting quarterly events for local women in 2023 – stay tuned and contact me for more information or to join the invite list!

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my November Edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  In light of my continued themes on process and habits, you may also be interested in my series, Lessons of the Run – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. And if you could stand to hear more about processes and patterns, stay tuned for an upcoming expanded post on Examining the Process – Behind the Drive.
 
I have the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please stay tuned for another year of EI learning and growth as a part of these sessions.  You do not need to be a coach or a member of ICFLA to attend.

 
In September, I completed a year-long, quarterly series entitled “EQ and WooWoo” with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay. If you are intrigued and would like to learn more about future events, please email me. This workshop series was designed to help you manifest action towards the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve in 2022.  These quarterly sessions intertwined the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. New and related sessions will begin in 2023. Contact me for more information.
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 

As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of reflection, curiosity, clarity, and joy in the moments!

Authenticity and Belonging: Lessons of Fall – Three Thoughts for Thursday, October 2022

October 20, 2022
Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

Fall is still my very favorite season, and I have noticed I especially love October!  During this season, particularly the month of October, the colors seem especially vibrant and I am constantly in awe of the changes and transformations I observe in the trees around me.  I also likely don’t need to mention again, my fascination with midlife, but I will because not only am I in it but so are many of my clients.  In this season of life, I am also observing and celebrating transformations.  

I find the learnings and lessons of midlife profound and connected to my observations of October. This month as I have been noticing the leaves changing color, the new hues and shades amidst the green, I have been thinking about the desires for purpose and authenticity that seem to come with midlife. I have also been considering the willingness to finally take off the mask and boldly step forth in truth. The midlife and post-midlife, to me, represent a call to bare oneself with unapologetic transparency, to willingly stand out rather than submit to a need to blend in or the “shoulds” of others, and to learn you belong because of your differences, not in spite of them.

As I observe the natural cycle of seasons, I think maybe it is just nature that leads so many to wait until later in life to show up fully, much as trees change in the 9th, 10th, or even 11th month of the year.  I wonder what our world could be like if we embraced our true selves and diversity and reveled in the humanity that unites us earlier in our journey through this one precious life. Perhaps change is simply a part of humanity and the real lesson is to embrace growth and change as it comes in each stage but also to support truth and authenticity throughout the journey.

What could the world be like if we saw in color instead of so often in black and white? What if we could appreciate and embrace all the different hues rather than picking favorites or passing judgments? How might you show up more authentically and fully even through periods of transition and changes? How might you, in whatever position in life you find yourself, encourage others and create an environment that supports others to show up more transparently, honestly, and fully human? What is your dream for yourself when you think about how you’d like to show up? What keeps you from showing up this way?  What gives you a sense of belonging? What is your dream for our world? If you don’t have one, why not? What is one thing you might choose to work on in yourself that may begin to pave the way for a more just world, one change, one transformation at a time?

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Quote I’m pondering:

“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, and others build windmills.”

~ Chinese Proverb ~

Photo by Carl Raw on Unsplash

What I’m listening to: 

Assumptions that Stop Us from Listening Well, with Oscar Trimboli
Coaching for Leaders, Episode #598, October 9, 2022
 

Oscar Trimboli: How to Listen

Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces, and cultures around the world. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words.

Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran with over 30 years of experience across general management, sales, marketing, and operations for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, Professional Advantage, and Vodafone. He is the author of the book, Deep Listening and now, his newest book, How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication*.

In this conversation, Oscar and I explore several of the assumptions that tend to get in our way of listening well. Oscar highlights distinctions that will be useful mindsets for you in showing up better in future conversations. Plus, we discuss how listing goes far beyond simply asking questions.

Key Points

  • Before we begin listening, it is helpful to tune…much like an orchestra.
  • We can’t always give our full attention, but we can make the choice as to whether we are paying attention or giving attention.
  • As much as we intend otherwise, sometimes we listen less well in our closest relationships.
  • Aim to be curious instead of drawing conclusions.
  • Asking questions does not necessarily mean you are listening well. Aimless and arbitrary questions are everywhere.

Resources Mentioned

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

I so enjoyed this podcast about how even small assumptions can keep us from experiencing true connection and understanding.  I especially loved that he shared the experience of his son and his wife as they navigated the meaning of half of eight/8! 

What I’m reading: 

The Four Pivots: Reimaging Justice, Reimagining Ourselves

By Shawn A. Ginwright

I am LOVING this book!  It is reminding me that I need to sit down and write my own visions for how Emotional Intelligence can help support a world of equality by allowing us to connect with our humanity, and expand our ability to be more human and our capacity for other humans.  More on that to come!

What Amazon Has to Say:

“Reading this courageous book feels like the beginning of a social and personal awakening…I can’t stop thinking about it.”—Brené Brown, PhD, author of Atlas of the Heart

For readers of Emergent Strategy and Dare to Lead, an activist’s roadmap to long-term social justice impact through four simple shifts.

We need a fundamental shift in our values–a pivot in how we think, act, work, and connect. Despite what we’ve been told, the most critical mainspring of social change isn’t coalition building or problem analysis. It’s healing: deep, whole, and systemic, inside and out.

Here, Shawn Ginwright, PhD, breaks down the common myths of social movements–a set of deeply ingrained beliefs that actually hold us back from healing and achieving sustainable systemic change. He shows us why these frames don’t work, proposing instead four revolutionary pivots for better activism and collective leadership:

Awareness: from lens to mirror
Connection: from transactional to transformative relationships
Vision: from problem-fixing to possibility-creating
Presence: from hustle to flow

Supplemented with reflections, prompts, cutting-edge research, and the author’s own insights and lived experience as an African American social scientist, professor, and movement builder, The Four Pivots helps us uncover our obstruction points. It shows us how to discover new lenses and boldly assert our need for connection, transformation, trust, wholeness, and healing. It gives us permission to create a better future–to acknowledge that a broken system has been predefining our dreams and limiting what we allow ourselves to imagine, but that it doesn’t have to be that way at all. Are you ready to pivot? 

Here are a few of my notes and key takeaways/questions from Pivot 1: Awareness, Lens to Mirror

Ginwright notes that eliminating problems doesn’t create victories.  This was powerful for me as it put into perspective all the time and effort we as a society, and as humans, consultants, parents, managers, etc., put into solving surface problems. He went on to note that “inequality erodes our ability to see any other way – predefined our dreams, conditions us to focus on surface-level issues.  He calls for deep, personal work, over instituting new solutions to these “surface problems” in order to create real and lasting change.

He further calls out the need to go deeper, to strive to see the myths and beliefs Ginwright notes “that we are living by that must be seen in order to change them.” How might you work to go beyond getting striving to be better at your job, looking towards the next promotion, and really support this deeper work that will serve you more fully and will also serve our society and world, one person at a time? 

What are you doing to support yourself and your inner work, to have a lens and a mirror? What “obstruction spots created by socialization” have you worked to clear to be a better human and create change?

Thoughts on Ginwright’s “True sight – hindsight, foresight and insight” concept, and the idea that “the hardest look is inward”?

How might you integrate his reflections on clarity – “Suspension, Saltation, and Creep”?

Topic for further ponderings – What gets in the way of clarity – Ego, Lack of Confidence, Lens of Opposition, and Resistance – how do you see these show up in your professional and personal life/communications/relationships?

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.

If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

On September 17th, I hosted my first local, in-person event here in the Seattle area,  Savor the Sweetness.  It was a fulfilling experience and event, and I look forward to hosting quarterly events for local women in 2023 – stay tuned and contact me for more information or to join the invite list!

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my September Edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  In light of my continued themes on process and habits, you may also be interested in my series, Lessons of the Run – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. And if you could stand to hear more about processes and patterns, stay tuned for an upcoming expanded post on Examining the Process – Behind the Drive.

Beginning last year, in April 2021, I have had the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join us for November’s session on Tuesday, the 29th of November for a panel discussion of EI in the Workplace.

In September, I completed a year-long, quarterly series entitled “EQ and WooWoo” with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay. If you are intrigued and would like to learn more about future events, please email me. This workshop series was designed to help you manifest action toward the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve in 2022.  These quarterly sessions intertwined the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. New and related sessions will begin in 2023.

If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!

I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!

As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!

Wishing you a season of colorful foliage and brilliant transformation toward authenticity and true belonging!

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

Sunsets and Seasons – Three Thoughts for Thursday – September 2022

September 15, 2022

The sunsets have been stunning, the colors bold and breathtaking. Likely, the forest fires raging in Oregon and southern Washington have a part to play in the way the light and pollution come together to create art in the sky as the day comes to a close, a reminder of how beauty can come even from endings and destruction.

As the summer comes to a close, I have been reflecting on the beauty of both the season and its end, and how the close of summer enhances my desire to embrace and enjoy every last moment. The sunsets have called me to pause and appreciate the beauty of a day’s end. These reflections around endings and destruction have also led me to again recognize how endings give way to beginnings, destruction gives way to new creation, and the importance of savoring the journey and the bittersweetness of these moments.

It is also in this transition from summer to fall that I reminisce on the butterfly migration in the Los Angeles area I was so privileged to witness while living there. While we were in LA this past April, we went to the butterfly gardens at the Natural History Museum. One of my very favorite experiences in LA was the mass migration of butterflies.  They were so thick in the air everywhere; it was as if we’d been invaded. So unexpected and such a pleasant surprise, these beautiful butterflies even surrounded us on the traffic-jammed highways! I arrived in LA for what would be a 2+-year sojourn, angry to be there, and left quite transformed by the colorful experience and deep friendships I gained. Our LA experience provided a new reference and definition for me of bittersweetness. Only at the end could I see the beauty of the personal transformation I’d undergone as the sunset on our time there and the butterflies undertook their journey.

As the sun sets on this day, on this season, both literal and metaphorical, what is ending for you? What do endings mean for you, and what emotions do they trigger? What is beginning? What beauty do you see in the finale? When and where have you experienced beauty in the breaking, in the ending? As you reflect on your life experiences, where do you see moments of bittersweetness? How have they shaped you? How have you shaped and made meaning of these moments?

Sunset over Lake Washington

Quote I’m pondering:

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.

~ Beau Taplin ~

What I’m reading:

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

I just finished listening to the Audible version of this book and absolutely loved it!  As someone who has been accused of being Eeyore, of being overly sentimental, of feeling a deep appreciation for the character, Sadness, in InsideOut, and as someone who walked down the aisle to Moonlight Sonata, this book spoke to me on so many levels.  I have come to feel great frustration with our cultural insistence/mandate to “be happy, just be happy,” ALL OF THE TIME! I believe what we so often think of as the “negative emotions” have a very important place and purpose, and at the very least, allow us to really know what it feels like when happiness comes within.
 
Thinking about sunsets, beauty in endings, and the breaking down involved in metamorphosis, makes me also consider my time living in Los Angeles, a time that truly allowed me to feel and experience bittersweetness. I showed up angry to be there and left changed and sad to say goodbye.  The transformation was all the things – painful and inexplicably wonderful all at once, and to say goodbye was both excruciating and exciting.

I hope you will give this book a read or a listen!  This book spoke to my soul. I felt a deep human connection and a new appreciation for my own life experience. I’d love to hear what you think!!

~

What Amazon has to say:

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Sadness is your superpower. In her new masterpiece, the author of the bestselling phenomenon Quiet explores the power of the bittersweet personality, revealing a misunderstood side of mental health and creativity while offering a roadmap to facing grief in order to live life to the fullest.
 
“Bittersweet grabs you by the heart and doesn’t let go.”—BRENÉ BROWN, author of Atlas of the Heart


“Susan Cain has described and validated my existence once again!”—GLENNON DOYLE, author of Untamed


“The perfect cure for toxic positivity.”—ADAM GRANT, author of Think Again

ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOKS OF 2022—Oprah Daily, BookPage

Bittersweetness is a tendency to states of long­ing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute aware­ness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world. It recognizes that light and dark, birth and death—bitter and sweet—are forever paired. 
 
If you’ve ever wondered why you like sad music . . . 
If you find comfort or inspiration in a rainy day . . . 
If you react intensely to music, art, nature, and beauty . . .
 
Then you probably identify with the bitter­sweet state of mind.
 
With Quiet, Susan Cain urged our society to cultivate space for the undervalued, indispensable introverts among us, thereby revealing an un­tapped power hidden in plain sight. Now she em­ploys the same mix of research, storytelling, and memoir to explore why we experience sorrow and longing, and how embracing the bittersweetness at the heart of life is the true path to creativity, con­nection, and transcendence.
 
Cain shows how a bittersweet state of mind is the quiet force that helps us transcend our personal and collective pain, whether from a death or breakup, addiction or illness. If we don’t acknowledge our own heartache, she says, we can end up inflicting it on others via abuse, domination, or neglect. But if we realize that all humans know—or will know—loss and suffering, we can turn toward one another. 
 
At a time of profound discord and personal anxiety, Bittersweet brings us together in deep and unexpected ways.

What I’m listening to:

I was so inspired by and resonated with Susan Cain’s Bittersweet that I sought out podcasts with her as a guest.  I found one new podcast I want to investigate beyond the interview with her and one old favorite, The Tim Ferris Show,  that I’ve found to provide consistent inspiration.  Let me know what you think!!

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck is a show focused on exploring the mindset and philosophy of some of the world’s most insightful people. John R. Miles unpacks guests’ wisdom on creating an intentional purpose-driven life and turns it into practical advice that you can use to impact your work, life, and relationships.

Episode 121: Susan Cain on Bittersweet, the Happiness of the Melancholy, and How Sorrow Creates the Union Between Souls

Susan Cain is one of my favorite authors and completely changed the way I viewed myself and my own strengths. Susan is the author of the Quiet Journal, Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, which spent eight years on The New York Times bestseller list, and has been translated into 40 languages. Her new masterpiece, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, is available now.

Susan’s first record-smashing TED Talk has been viewed more than 40 million times and was named by Bill Gates as one of his all-time favorite talks (and if you like that one, you should check out her most recent TED Talk with violinist Min Kym). LinkedIn named her the top sixth influencer in the world, just behind Richard Branson and Melinda Gates. Susan partners with Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, and Dan Pink to curate the Next Big Idea Club. They donate all of their proceeds to children’s literacy programs.

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make us Whole

In her new book, Susan discusses why sadness and the happiness of melancholy are key to achieving self-transcendence and the union between souls. As with the majority of people, you’ve probably been taught your entire life to look at the positive side and be happy no matter what. While there is a place for optimism and looking at the bright side, by burying your melancholy and sadness, you may actually be doing yourself a terrible disservice.

Additional Podcasts with Tim Ferris and Susan Cain:

The Tim Ferriss Show: #583: Susan Cain on Transforming Pain, Building Your Emotional Resilience, Exploring Sufi Wisdom, Tapping into Bittersweet Songs, and Seeking the Shards of Light

The Tim Ferriss Show: #357: Susan Cain — How to Overcome Fear and Embrace Creativity

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.

Women local to the Seattle area, you are invited to attend Savor the Sweetness on September 17th.  For more information and to RSVP, please click here.

Please check out my latest blog post, The Problem of Intentions,  Also check out my post, Be Careful, Recipes and Inspiration Yield Different Results! and my August Edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, as well.  In light of my continued theme on process, you may also be interested in my series, Lessons of the Run – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. And if you could stand to hear more about processes and patterns, stay tuned for an upcoming expanded post on Examining the Process – Behind the Drive.
 
If you are interested, or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

Beginning last year, in April 2021, I have had the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join us for September’s session on Tuesday, the 27th  of September, with special guest, James Garrett of BrainByDesign, who will offer The Brain Science of Overcoming Fear.

 For more information on the next “EQ and WooWoo” workshop (Thursday, September 22nd) with my colleague and Spiritual Coach, Katie Kay, please email me or RSVP. This workshop series is designed to help you manifest action towards the year you want to live, the person you want to be, and the goals you want to achieve.  We will be hosting quarterly sessions that intertwine the use of Tarot (and other Woowoo tools) and Emotional Intelligence to help you and your clients step outside the box in order to take your coaching and personal work deeper. September will focus on Relationship Management, harvesting what you’ve planted, and continuing to care for the relationships you are building and maintaining.
 
If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to find out more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the EQ & WooWoo Workshops. I hope you will come along for the journey!
 
I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!
 
As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!
 
Wishing you a season of stunning sunsets, moments that take your breath away, and recognition of the beauty in the bittersweet!