The Storm – Three Thoughts for Thursday – November 2024

Wow, the hot shower this morning felt divine! I’m a day late in getting this out and you’ll soon understand why….

I’ve been waiting for inspiration to strike to write this month’s post. What I write about usually comes from a strike of inspiration and meaningful wondering and wandering. As I’ve been working my way through the post-PhD blahs that I’ve begun to liken to postpartum, I’ve struggled with inspiration and gratitude. Instead, if I’m honest, I have allowed anxiety to run the show.

There’s nothing like a big storm that knocks out power for a few days to help provide perspective and inspire gratitude! The “Seattle Bomb Cyclone,” as it is being called, was an opportunity for a reality check. The reminder of what luxuries heat and hot water are, a warm bed and a warm shower, and the opportunity to go to work and school was loud as the outside world went dark and quiet. Then there were the other little luxuries I was made aware of, like TV and microwave popcorn, that I also generally take for granted that we did not have. I was grateful for a gas stove we could light to warm food and heat water for dishes.

During these days without electricity, I was reminded of what a gift it is to also be without the distraction and noise of everyday life, to get to sit by the fire (yay for a fireplace that still worked!) and put together puzzles, read and play games with my kids, and snuggle under warm blankets. I was reminded of what a gift it is to have access to water and to be able to make tea with an old-fashioned kettle on the stove. I paused to note how nice it is to have a home and place to weather the storm.

I was also reminded of the wonderful people that surround me. I still had a running buddy to navigate the dark and branch-laden trails with me. I still had nature to run in and a headlamp that worked. I still got to work! My parents happen to be here from Colorado for the holidays and were here to help with the kids and yard clean up. I was still cared for and loved.

I generally do not like to ask for help, but knowing this about myself, I took the opportunity to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and ask for help. In the silence of life without so much noise, I could clearly hear the neighbor’s generator running. So rather than driving around searching for Wi-Fi to still host a work call, I texted the neighbor and asked if I might use their Wi-Fi to hold the online session for work. Not only did they provide Wi-Fi, they also provided a cozy, warm and quiet office for me to use. Wow, what a gift!

Gratitude. Sometimes when things are hard or mundane, monotonous or chaotic, I seem to struggle with gratitude. Gratitude, however, is a cure for many things, including reducing the monotony and feelings of ambivalence and boredom. It’s like a superfood, just the right medicine for many ailments. PositivePsychology.com offers 14 Benefits of Gratitude:

For the individual:

• Increased happiness and positive mood
• More satisfaction with life
• Less materialism
• Less likelihood of experiencing burnout
• Better physical health
• Better sleep
• Less fatigue
• Lower levels of cellular inflammation
• Greater resiliency
• Encouraged development of patience, humility and wisdom (sign me up!!)

For groups:

• Increased prosocial behaviors
• Strengthened relationships
• Improved employee effectiveness
• Increased job satisfaction

So, how are your levels of gratitude these days? What are your gratitude practices? If you have a regular gratitude practice, what positive outcomes have you experienced? If you don’t have a gratitude practice, what is keeping you from starting one? What might shift for you if you had a practice of gratitude? How might gratitude benefit you as you think about the list of benefits above? What support or accountability might you need to start a new habit of gratitude? What gets in the way of gratitude for you? What patterns do you see when your gratitude wanes, and how might gratitude be the cure? What ails you and your mental health these days, and might gratitude help? How might you bring more awareness to gratitude and all the positive things in your life?

I am grateful for you, for the opportunity to be able to ponder and share my wanderings and wonderings with you, to continue to explore and develop new habits and ways of being, to stay on the journey of reflecting, changing and expanding, learning and growing.

Quote(s) I’m pondering:

“To learn to be always in a state of meditation means never to let your vital energy wane. You would never allow it to do so if it were certain that you were to die tomorrow. It wanes because you forget about death. Grit your teeth, fix your gaze, and observe death at this moment. You have to feel it so strongly that it seems as if it’s attacking you. Fearless energy comes from this. At this moment, death is right before your eyes. It’s not something you can afford to neglect.” ​
— Suzuki Shōsan (1579–1655)

What I’m listening to:

Even the best compassionate time management practices won’t make chaos go away. In fact, compassionate time management just helps us feel more calm in the chaotic storms that life will always throw at us. We can’t always control the chaos. So, when it hits, it’s nice to have some things you go to automatically that help you stay grounded, whole, and very much yourself when life feels chaotic. Today, I’m sharing 7 things I do when life feels chaotic.

What I’m reading:

What Amazon has to Say:

Now in a fully rewritten fourth edition, this is the authoritative presentation of motivational interviewing (MI), the powerful approach to facilitating change. It has been updated and streamlined to be even more user-friendly as a practitioner guide and course text. MI originators William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick elucidate the four tasks of MI—engaging, focusing, evoking, and planning—and vividly demonstrate what they look like in action. A wealth of vignettes and interview examples (engagingly read by multiple narrators) illustrate the dos and don’ts of successful implementation in diverse contexts. The book reviews the evidence base for the approach and covers ways to assess the quality of MI. Virtually a new book, the fourth edition addresses the breadth of MI applications, not only in counseling and psychotherapy, but also in health care, education, coaching, management, and other contexts. The companion website provides reflection questions, annotated case material, and additional helpful resources. This title is in the Applications of Motivational Interviewing series, edited by Stephen Rollnick, William R. Miller, and Theresa B. Moyers.

My notes and thoughts:

I’ve been pondering and keeping in mind, what is the difference between motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry? Positive psychology?

If I’m interested in helping people change but they are stuck, then this is a tool…

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is an approach that helps us/clients get past ambivalence, ‘stuckness,’ the same unsuccessful patterns to commitment, action and transformation.

Behavior change is at the root cause of challenges

MI unblocks and stops cycles of self-sabotage

What is motivational interviewing?

• A particular way of talking with people about change and growth to strengthen their own motivation and commitment
  • Empowering them to make the change
  • Safe space/psychological safety to explore
  • Clearing out the noise getting in the way and remembering they have their own wisdom
  • Removing the “shoulds”
  • Calming the monkey mind; just need to be curious and attentive, empathic and willing to walk with the client
  • Inspiring their agency
  • MI affirms the answers we seek are inside of us

Steps:

1. Engaging – connecting – core question – can we walk together? Can I trust you? Do I feel at ease in your presence?
2. Focusing – clarifying goal – What’s a goal that you want, but you’re not sure how to get there? What if there are many ways?
3. Evoking – bringing out the “why?”
4. Planning – what are the struggles? Ideas without attachment. Experimentation

We don’t need to create motivation in our clients, we just need to walk alongside them as they explore it, find it, etc. These techniques can also help us as we seek to change by reminding us that we are capable and whole, and by giving us the tools to find our motivation.

~

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.  If you enjoyed this post, take a look at October’s Three Thoughts. You may also be interested in reading my four-part Lessons of the Run series – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit. Take a look at my latest post, “YOU are the MISSING Piece!” and stay tuned for an update to this piece, along with a recent and new 5^th Lesson of the Run – Humility and Adaptability!

If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

I am also excited to be working with BrainByDesign as a facilitator for the new Brain Science Advantage course specifically for Women Leaders. If you are interested in learning more, please use the links I’ve included, and feel free to reach out with any questions! I took the Brain Science Advantage course three years ago, have been participating in the weekly MasterMind course since, and love the work so much, I became a BrainByDesign Brain Science Certified Coach. The brain is powerful and we can learn to optimize it to achieve our fullest potential!
 
In 2023, I celebrated the 5^th anniversary of my stroke with the writing of this commemorative post, a training run, flowers, pie, and special time with my kids.  I continued the celebration by running the Boston Marathon in April, five years after I ran the course for the first time (six weeks after my stroke). Please join me in celebrating these milestones by taking time to celebrate your own milestones and by fully embracing the opportunities in front of you, the value in the little things, and the beauty that surrounds you in this wonderful, messy life. I will forever be grateful for my stroke and the path of integrity I found in its wake.