Three Thoughts for Thursday – September 2023

Nutrients for Life
I have never felt guilty for stopping to put gas in the car, nor do I now feel bad for stopping to charge the car to make sure we get to our destination. I don’t feel bad for taking my car to the mechanic or for getting the car washed. We are instructed when we board an airplane, in the event of an emergency, to put our own oxygen mask on first before helping others, the idea being we are of little help to others if we are incapacitated ourselves.

September, as summer becomes autumn, always reminds me to slow down, to pause and appreciate the little things, the moments, the beauty in the ordinary, and to fill my tank. As challenges have been coming my way in multiples lately, I have found myself thinking a great deal about how best to weather the storms and maintain my energy. True, I can’t hide from them, but much like running, I’ve learned that to endure, I need to not only run, I also need to take care of myself, rest, and refuel. I’ve learned the rest and the fuel is just as important as the effort. When serious problems and serious times call for serious answers and serious grit, I remind myself of the importance of enjoying a moment of laughter, of love, of joy, of rest, and a moment of compassion, and care to fill my cup.

I’ve learned that self-care doesn’t need to be a great endeavor, a big splurge, or some large-scale effort; rather, self-care can be something small that puts a smile on my face, love in my heart, a little energy in the tank, and makes me feel like I haven’t lost, I’m still me, and I have everything I need. I have been more deeply enjoying running in the cooler fall air, catching a baseball game with my oldest baseball-loving son, a soccer game with my younger soccer-loving son, a cookie outside with my little girl, and a beautiful sunset (September sunsets are divine!). As I sit in the mess, in the struggle of life’s circumstances right now, I am observing the change of seasons and savoring the sweetness of small wins, small moments, hugs, good friends, crisp autumn air, and a good laugh. I am finding moments to refill, knowing that the only thing consistent in life is change, and this, too, shall pass, just like the seasons, so I’d better not miss the moments of magic.

As you think about self-care more like an essential, like a fortifying vitamin, how does your thinking shift? As you think about self-care as something that makes you feel more like the best version of yourself, how does your attitude toward self-care change, and what activities come to mind? How does self-care become more attainable? Does it become more important and valuable? When life gets messy, do you remember to take time to breathe, care for yourself, and fortify your mind and body to stand in the discomfort and find your way through? What brings you solace, strength, and a moment of respite and joy? Are you getting enough of what you need? What might you do today to find a moment of solace or joy?

Poem/Quote I’m pondering:

I ate a food I really like
I laughed with a friend
I picked up a phone call
I wrote a poem
I put on my makeup
I slept for nine hours straight

I don’t always get
to be kind to myself.
but when I do,
it’s always these little things
that if I don’t list them down
Might just go unnoticed.
~ The Clumsy Lass

What I’m listening to:

The Mel Robbins Podcast: Stop Taking Things So Seriously: A Hilarious Story About Wedgies, Wardrobe Failures, Art Museums, & Having More Fun

In this episode, you will learn the art of having more fun. I share a hilarious story about a major wardrobe malfunction with you and two podcast crew members. You’ll laugh along at all the ridiculous details, but the takeaway is serious – Learning how to laugh at yourself is a superpower, and research says people with a sense of humor are more respected and are viewed as more confident and intelligent by their peers.

Today you’ll learn:

• How having fun in life is an art form
• How to turn something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable
• How humor increases power and status
• Why it is important not to take yourself too seriously
• How to create a bond and change the tone in any social situation
• Why it’s imperative to never buy a bodysuit that is too small

Seriously? You need to laugh more! Let’s start today.

            Xo,
            Mel

Resources and go deeper:

• For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.

• The photo of me in the parking lot that I mentioned in the episode.
• Sara Blakely, entrepreneur and founder of Spanx.
• Skims (the brand mentioned in the episode – not sponsored!)
• The Institute of Contemporary Art
• The Mel Robbins Podcast: 4 Simple Ways to Stop Giving a Sh*t About What Other People Think of You.
• Harvard Business Review: How to be funny at work.
• Frontiers in Psychology: Humor in workplace leadership.
• Big Think: Why a good sense of humor is an essential life skill.
• Berkeley: How a little humor can improve your life.
• London School of Economics: Not a joke: leveraging humor at work increases performance, individual happiness, and psychological safety.
• World Economic Forum: Why a sense of humor is an essential life skill.
• University of Central Florida: Self-deprecation and the skill of humor.
• Stanford: Humor is serious business.

My notes and key takeaways:
I found this podcast fun, with some cringe-worthy, oh-so-human moments, enlightening and funny. Not only did I appreciate the humor and opportunity to giggle, I appreciated the messages around the importance of learning to laugh at yourself, to laugh at life, to laugh with others, and the value of having good friends to share your inside jokes, your sense of humor, and a good belly laugh. Her metaphor of living life in a body suit, essentially living life with a wedgie, was not lost on me and served as a humorous reminder not to take life too seriously; this only adds to the suffering and struggle. So take off that body suit, loosen up, and enjoy the ride!

What I’m reading:

As life has been more serious lately on an adult level, I’ve been making sure to keep some lighter reading at hand. Before bed, I’ve been more mindful about picking up something interesting, but also that provides a little escape as I drift off to dreamland. Here is what I’ve been reading and a book I’ve also been listening to with this theme of lightening the mood.

My Name is Lucy Barton
By Elizabeth Strout

Number-one New York Times best-seller

A simple hospital visit becomes a portal to the tender relationship between mother and daughter in this extraordinary novel by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Olive Kitteridge and The Burgess Boys.
Named one of the best books of the year by The Washington Post, The New York Times Book Review, NPR, BookPage, LibraryReads, Minneapolis Star Tribune, and St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Lucy Barton is recovering slowly from what should have been a simple operation. Her mother, to whom she hasn’t spoken for many years, comes to see her. Gentle gossip about people from Lucy’s childhood in Amgash, Illinois, seems to reconnect them, but just below the surface lie the tension and longing that have informed every aspect of Lucy’s life: her escape from her troubled family, her desire to become a writer, her marriage, her love for her two daughters. Knitting this powerful narrative together is the brilliant storytelling voice of Lucy herself: keenly observant, deeply human, and truly unforgettable. 


Olive Kitteridge
By Elizabeth Strout

At times stern, at other times patient, at times perceptive, at other times in sad denial, Olive Kitteridge, a retired schoolteacher, deplores the changes in her little town of Crosby, Maine, and in the world at large, but she doesn’t always recognize the changes in those around her: a lounge musician haunted by a past romance; a former student who has lost the will to live; Olive’s own adult child, who feels tyrannized by her irrational sensitivities; and her husband, Henry, who finds his loyalty to his marriage both a blessing and a curse.
As the townspeople grapple with their problems, mild and dire, Olive is brought to a deeper understanding of herself and her life – sometimes painfully, but always with ruthless honesty. Olive Kitteridge offers profound insights into the human condition – its conflicts, tragedies, and joys, and the required endurance.

And a book I’m listening to that was recommended and has made me laugh…
 
A Very Punchable Face
By Colin Jost

I was advised to listen to this book and told by my friend and mentor that while listening, he had actually found himself laughing out loud. I was also told that it could be he’s from New Jersey, and his Jersey humor that explains his enjoyment of the book and laughs solicited.  In any event, I’ve been listening to this book and have enjoyed the experience and the laughs. I hope you might, too!

What Amazon has to Say:
If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch – metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. 
From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. 
You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a 25-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You’ll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he’s written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past 15 years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian – from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. 

For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy – with a face you can’t help but want to punch.

You can sign up to receive my Three Thoughts for Thursday post as an email on the third Thursday of every month by clicking here.  If you’ve missed any of my Three Thoughts, you can find them all on my blog.  If you enjoyed this post, take a look at August’s Three Thoughts and my post, The Climb.  You may also be interested in my four-part Lessons of the Run series – Endurance, Resilience, Rest, and Grit.

If you are interested or know someone who may be interested, I also offer leadership and emotional intelligence coaching and workshops. You can find more information on my website, or you can use this link to set up a free 30-minute introduction to coaching session.

I recently celebrated the 5^th anniversary of my stroke with the writing of this commemorative post, a training run, flowers, pie, and special time with my kids.  I continued the celebration by running the Boston Marathon in April, five years after I ran the course for the first time (six weeks after my stroke). Please join me in celebrating these milestones by taking time to celebrate your own milestones and by fully embracing the opportunities in front of you, the value in the little things, and the beauty that surrounds you in this wonderful, messy life.

Last September, I hosted my first local, in-person event here in the Seattle area, Savor the Sweetness.  It was a fulfilling experience and event, and I think I need to make it an annual event! The next one is just around the bend – contact me for more information or to join the invite list!

I have the privilege of hosting the Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group for ICFLA.  Please join me for this year’s final session in October to continue the EI learning and growth journey.  You do not need to be a coach or a member of ICFLA to attend.

If you are interested in joining and co-creating these learning communities, please use the links above to learn more about ICFLA’s Emotional Intelligence Special Interest Group and the Women’s Events. I hope you will come along for the journey!

I’m always looking for new inspiration, new books to read, and new podcasts to listen to, so please send your suggestions my way or comment on this post to offer some new recommendations!

As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!

Wishing you a season of appreciation, deep breaths, big hugs, and plenty of laughter – remember to do the things that fill your cup, nourish your soul, and make you feel alive!