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Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching

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  • Three Thoughts for Thursday
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Spring has Sprung and WOW is it Messy!

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching's avatar Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching March 19, 2020

Three Thoughts for Thursday – March 2020!

I began to write this a few weeks ago, before the virus turned our world upside down.  A few days ago, I sat down to review what I’d written, thinking I would need to scrap it and focus on something more related to where we all sit today.  As I read what I’d written, I found my thoughts even more poignant now as spring officially begins and we sit in the mud and mess together.  I hope this reflection gives you hope and slowly we all begin to germinate.
~
cherry blossoms

Ahhhh, spring has sprung!  Here in Seattle, the cherry trees are in full bloom and it is magical!  My boys had pestered me for months to make sure we got a spot in the local pea patch garden down the street.  Thankfully, I had remembered to call and put our name on the list early New Year’s Day.  Still, we were number 14 on that list.  Boy did I thank my lucky stars when I got the call – we got a spot!  My boys were THRILLED!

I have been thinking about the darkness of winter from which spring comes in all its colorful glory, and about the mud that nurtures and grows the seeds we plant. When we moved to LA, my boys were so taken by the sunshine and the possibility for a garden.  I watched as they dumped whole packets of seeds into each hole they dug.  I smiled as I saw their delighted faces when one plant grew.  They planted those seeds with reckless abandon and hope, and were so satisfied when even one seedling daringly sprang forth.

As we get older, we seem to fear getting dirty, and we get so stingy with our seeds, but why? We feel the need to follow the directions on the seed packet, or we buy seedlings too afraid of getting nothing from our seeds, or too impatient to wait for the sprouting process to occur. We become so regimented and tidy, and even when one plant sprouts, we wonder why only one rather than celebrating that one that courageously sprung from the ground. Taking this metaphor further into our relationships, families and work, I also see how children don’t fear getting messy.  They fight one minute and are playing together again the next without concern for how violently they just fought; the laughter soon follows the rage and tears.

When do we lose this resilience and faith and become rigid and fearful of the mess of living? When do we begin to calculate the efforts we put forth in a relationship and demand we get equal or more in return?  When do we become slow to forgive and move forward? When do we begin to forget to celebrate the one triumph as if it were everything, the way we once celebrated the sprouting of one seed in the hundred or so we dumped into the garden? When do we become afraid to get our hands dirty?  When do we forget the beauty that can spring from the mud?

As spring approaches, I encourage you to plant and celebrate with reckless abandon.  I encourage you to invest in relationships and to bloom and put forth your beauty without calculation. I implore you to manifest the best in yourself without expectation simply because you have beauty within worth sharing.  Show off your colors, stand tall and shine!  Nurture the seeds and sprouts around you and notice and appreciate their beauty. Bask in the sunshine and the rain and put forth your best!

adding dirt
planting
Quote I am sitting with, pondering and finding inspirational:
Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears. We can bring ourselves back to the spiritual path countless times every day simply by exercising our willingness to rest in the uncertainty of the present moment—over and over again.

Pema Chodron

Podcast/Lecture Series I’m Listening To:

The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection and Courage
lecture series by Brené Brown

 Show Up and Let Yourself be Seen
Is vulnerability the same as weakness? “In our culture,” teaches Dr. Brené Brown, “we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” On The Power of Vulnerability, Dr. Brown offers an invitation and a promise – that when we dare to drop the armor that protects us from feeling vulnerable, we open ourselves to the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. Here she dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and reveals that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

“The Power of Vulnerability is a very personal project for me,” Brené explains. “This is the first place that all of my work comes together. This audio course draws from all three of my books – it’s the culmination of everything I’ve learned over the past twelve years. I’m very excited to weave it all into a truly comprehensive form that shows what these findings and insights can mean in our lives.”

Guidance and Insights for Wholehearted Living
Over the past twelve years, Dr. Brené Brown has interviewed hundreds of people as part of an ongoing study of vulnerability. “The research shows that we try to ward disappointment with a shield of cynicism, disarm shame by numbing ourselves against joy, and circumvent grief by shutting off our willingness to love,” explains Dr. Brown. When we become aware of these patterns, she teaches, we begin to become conscious of how much we sacrifice in the name of self-defense -and how much richer our lives become when we open ourselves to vulnerability.

“In my research,” Dr. Brown says, “the word I use to describe people who can live from a place of vulnerability is wholehearted.” Being wholehearted is a practice-one that we can choose to cultivate through empathy, gratitude, and awareness of our vulnerability armor. Join this engaging and heartfelt teacher on The Power of Vulnerability as she offers profound insights on leaning into the full spectrum of emotions-so we can show up, let ourselves be seen, and truly be all in.

HIGHLIGHTS

  • Cultivating shame resilience-the key to developing a sense of worth and belonging.
  • Vulnerability as the origin point for innovation, adaptability, accountability, and visionary leadership.
  • Our emotional armory – how we use perfectionism, numbing, and other tactics to avoid feeling vulnerable.
  • The myths of vulnerability – common misconceptions about weakness, trust, and self-sufficiency.
  • Discovering your vulnerability armor – recognizing what makes us shut down, and how we can change.
  • The 10 guideposts of wholehearted living – essential skills for becoming fully engaged in life.
  • Six hours of stories, warm humor, and transformative insights for living a life of courage, authenticity, and compassion from Dr. Brené Brown.
Book I listened to/read that I am now returning to again:
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork – all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s 20 years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.Writing with great warmth and clarity, Tara Brach brings her teachings alive through personal stories and case histories, fresh interpretations of Buddhist tales, and guided meditations. Step by step, she leads us to trust our innate goodness, showing how we can develop the balance of clear-sightedness and compassion that is the essence of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance does not mean self-indulgence or passivity. Instead it empowers genuine change: healing fear and shame and helping to build loving, authentic relationships. When we stop being at war with ourselves, we are free to live fully every precious moment of our lives.

Wagon
  • Three Thoughts for Thursday
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Three Thoughts for Thursday – February 2020

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching's avatar Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching February 20, 2020

Three Thoughts for Thursday

Photo by Will O on Unsplash
Photo by Will O on Unsplash
Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash
Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Well, we survived the January doldrums!  February has given us Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day and Mid-Winter Break, and spring is now just next door!  But rather than run ahead, I am choosing to honor the winter season and lessons of January, and to spend a little more time looking within and honoring this season of hibernation, dormancy and regeneration. I have been focusing on this idea of love and considering my own journey to love myself.  I have been pondering love as the foundation and nourishment needed to support the bloom, the reaching and fulfillment of our full and glorious potential. So, here are a few resources and thoughts, questions, quotes and moments of inspiration and love to support you on your journey of release and self-acceptance, love and fulfilling your purpose, wherever you are on that journey.

What does love mean to you? How do you receive love? How do you show love?  What makes you feel loved?  What do you love most about yourself? What gets in your way of giving or receiving love? How can you cultivate your capacity to love and be loved?

Quote or Passage I’m Pondering and Appreciating:

Love

 We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.

~ Brené Brown

 The Foundation of Love

 If we do not know how to take care of ourselves and to love ourselves, we cannot take care of the people we love.  Loving oneself is the foundation for loving another person.

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash
Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

Podcast I’m Listening To: 

The Tim Ferris Show, Episode #409:  Brené Brown – Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages and More…

“We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. And then in the face of really hard stuff – illness, death, loss – the only thing we’re begging for is a normal moment.”   ~ Brené Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy, and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gives of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brené hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 45 million views.

Book I’m Reading:

The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom by don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and all of our dreams come together to form the Dream of the Planet, or world in which we live.

Most of us strive to live happy and peaceful lives, but the Dream of the Planet is full of mental and emotional traps that can knock us off balance and keep us bound in a prison of suffering.

In The Mastery of Self, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. teaches that most of our suffering occurs when we forget that we are the architects of our own reality, and we have the power to change our Dream if we choose. The Mastery of Self takes the Toltec philosophy of the Dream of the Planet and the personal dream and explains how a person can:

  • Wake up
  • Liberate themselves from illusory beliefs and stories
  • Live with authenticity

Once released, we can live as our true, authentic, loving selves, not only in solitude and meditation, but in any place—at the grocery store, stuck in traffic, etc.—and in any situation or scenario that confronts us.

Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. is a Nagual, a Toltec Master of Transformation, a direct descendent of the Toltecs of the Eagle Knight lineage, and the son of don Miguel Ruiz (author of The Four Agreements, a must read!)

mayur-gala-2PODhmrvLik-unsplash

 

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Three Thoughts for Thursday ~ January 2020!!

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching's avatar Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching January 16, 2020

Welcome to January!!!

Three Thoughts for Thursday

Quote or Passage I’m Pondering and Appreciating:

“Change is the only constant in life. One’s ability to adapt to those changes will determine your success in life.”

 ~ Benjamin Franklin

I’ve noticed over the last few years, January is a tough month for me.  This year, I’ve been working to see January differently, to reframe my attitude of disdain towards January as the doldrums to an attitude of peace and opportunity to dig deeper.  I’ve acknowledged the holiday hangover that occurs, and how the month of January feels like a bit of a letdown.  The days are dark and short, the weather is cold and dreary, and I feel especially dark and gloomy after the rush, hustle, bustle and festive brightness of the holiday season.  I typically am always on the go, always moving towards the next thing, and really only slow down against my wishes.

In my last email of 2019, I paid homage to winter as a time to go inward to reflect, repair, rebuild.  I am trying to continue this practice to release myself from the struggle of January. I often think of suffering as being caused by a longing for and/or dwelling in the past combined with a focus and striving for the future, solved, I am learning, by simply being present.  So, rather than suffering through January this year, I am setting my sights on being present and embracing the moment, acknowledging the struggle and surrendering expectations.  Surrender, that is what I am doing, surrendering to January and to the wisdom of going deeper. On this journey with me is the wisdom of Thich Naht Hahn.  Here are two passages from the book I note below, that have been sticking with me during this (literal) winter storm that has caused me to spend more time than I’d like to indoors.

Concentration

When you contemplate the big, full sunrise, the more mindful and concentrated you are, the more the beauty of the sunrise is revealed to you. Suppose you are offered a cup of tea, very fragrant, very good tea. If your mind is distracted, you cannot really enjoy the tea. You have to be mindful of the tea, you have to be concentrated on it, so the tea can reveal its fragrance and wonder to you. That is why mindfulness and concentration are such sources of happiness. That’s why a good practitioner knows how to create a moment of joy, a feeling of happiness, at any time of the day.

I Have Arrived

We believe that happiness is possible only in the future. That is why the practice “I have arrived” is very important. The realization that we have already arrived, that we don’t have to travel any further, that we are already here, can give us peace and joy. The conditions for our happiness are already sufficient. We only need to allow ourselves to be in the present moment, and we will be able to touch them.

                                                            ~ Thich Naht Hahn

January Stay the Path

Podcast I’m Listening To:

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris: Episode #43, Judge Jeremy Fogel, Using Mindfulness on the Bench

About 20 years ago, Judge Jeremy Fogel was serving as a superior court judge in California. But when he felt that it was causing him a lot of stress, he started looking for a way to center himself, and found meditation and yoga. Shortly after he started practicing, he was nominated to become a federal judge and said meditation became a refuge for him. Today, Judge Fogel continues to practice regularly and touts mindfulness as a powerful tool judges can use to help with their decision-making. He is currently serving as the director of the Federal Judicial Center.

Book I’m Reading:

In December, I mentioned I was looking forward to receiving this book for Christmas.  I am excited to feature the book again as I have now opened it and it has not disappointed.  I have been grateful for the daily dose of inspiration.

Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh

Bringing the energy of true presence into our lives really does change things for the better—and all it takes is a little training. This treasury of 365 gems of daily wisdom from one of the most beloved Buddhist teachers of our age is a help and support for anyone who wants to train to meet every moment of life with 100 percent attention. Thich Nhat Hanh shows how practicing mindfulness can transform every area of our lives—and how its benefits radiate beyond us to affect others and the whole, larger world.

January Snow

 

 

 

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Three Thoughts for Thursday – December Edition

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching's avatar Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching December 19, 2019

Three Thoughts for Thursday

I am feeling behind and rushed this holiday season.  I typically love to spend the weeks leading up to the winter break, baking and decorating and counting down.  This year has been busy with work travel and end-of-the-term paper writing.  I am fighting to be present and to set aside time to celebrate the Winter Solstice and the magic of the holiday season with my kids.  I am feeling gratitude for these dark winter days and embracing them as a time to get quiet, be home and cozy, to reflect and replenish, to focus on the inner self in preparation for another season of blooming.  Wishing you all a happy holiday season and happy winter solstice!  May this be a time of peace and joy!

aaron-burden-xtIYGB0KEqc-unsplashPhoto by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Quote(s) or Passage I’m Pondering and Appreciating:

“Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we will keep trying to slay them in the outer world. For all the darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart. And it is there we must do our work.”

                           ~Marianne Williamson

“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness”

~ Yousuf Karsh

Podcast(s) I’m Listening To:

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, Episode #19:Emma Seppala

Success and happiness: Can you have one without the other? Many assume that these two things are at cross purposes but Emma Seppala, the science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, argues that this assumption is actually dead wrong. The Ph.D. holder and author of “The Happiness Track” sat down with Dan Harris to tackle this subject – a central theme in Dan’s own book, “10% Happier.”

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, Episode #16: Ali Smith

Ali Smith goes into some of the toughest neighborhoods in one of the toughest cities in America and teaches yoga and meditation to troubled and at-risk school kids. And the results have been incredible. Smith, a certified yoga instructor, is the co-founder and executive director of the Holistic Life Foundation. His workshops and after-school programs reach approximately 4,500 kids every week and that number only continues to grow.

Book I’m Reading:

I’m excited to get this book for Christmas…

Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh: 365 Days of Practical, Powerful Teachings from the Beloved Zen Teacher

Bringing the energy of true presence into our lives really does change things for the better—and all it takes is a little training. This treasury of 365 gems of daily wisdom from one of the most beloved Buddhist teachers of our age is a help and support for anyone who wants to train to meet every moment of life with 100 percent attention. Thich Nhat Hanh shows how practicing mindfulness can transform every area of our lives—and how its benefits radiate beyond us to affect others and the whole, larger world.

marc-ignacio-7P4_9JxGcDc-unsplash

Photo by Marc Ignacio on Unsplash

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Three Thoughts for Thursday – November Edition

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching's avatar Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching November 21, 2019

Welcome to November and the season of gratitude!  The colors in Seattle have been spectacular and I have thoroughly been enjoying the change.  I hope your autumn has also been a time of colorful reflection.

Quote or Passage I’m Pondering:

Slide1

Articles on Gratitude I’m Appreciating:

Gratitude – Psychology Today

What is gratitude? How does it relate to emotions and worth? Why does it matter?

How Gratitude Can Help Your Career

by Peter Bregman

Harvard Business Review, October 1, 2015

Book I’m Reading:

Permission to Feel

by Marc Brackett

I had the opportunity to hear Marc speak here in Seattle recently and his words struck close to home, his message of the importance of EQ more than just resonating.  Check out his book!  His message speaks to the importance of EQ for our kids, for ourselves and for our society as a whole.

The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.
“We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children.”

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults – a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he’d endured. And that was the beginning of Marc’s awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t stuck on a timeline, and he wasn’t “wrong” to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.

In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that has already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc’s development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.

This book combines rigor, science, passion and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don’t have to be. Marc Brackett’s life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how.

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