Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching

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See and Be the Light – Hope and Resilience

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching November 5, 2020

After a week of smoke from fires burning all over the west coast and a weather pattern that was blowing the smoke into the Puget Sound, keeping the disastrous air trapped here, the rains finally came and washed the smoke away. My family and I immediately escaped outdoors for an adventure. I had run the Tunnel Light Marathon along the Iron Horse Trail years ago and I thought my boys, 7 and 5, would find the tunnel interesting and entertaining. I recalled the tunnel was quite long. Upon looking the tunnel up, I learned its precise length was greater than I’d remembered – 2.25 miles! Wow! We took their bikes to ensure they could cover the distance there and back. They were very excited to pack lots of flashlights.

As we set out, I thought back on my previous experience of the tunnel. I remembered the tunnel was near the beginning of the marathon course which began in Hyak, and we were advised to wear a headlamp and extra layers. At this point in the run, we were still in a large pack as we set out to traverse 26.2 miles and the tunnel served to keep us confined and in a tight formation. With hundreds of runners funneled into the tunnel, the numerous lights illuminated the space and I didn’t find much need for my individual light. In fact, my light seemed to make little difference. As we spread out a bit, however, I remember my light came in handy for avoiding holes and puddles. Likewise, because we were running in a large group, I didn’t really notice just how cold the tunnel got.

The experience was quite different as a family of four. There were other people on the trail, out enjoying the fresh air, and we encountered several families in the tunnel. However, I was not prepared for the extent of the darkness or the significant drop in temperature that had not been as noticeable as I’d run through the tunnel years ago, part of a pack of runners. Allowing the boys to ride their bikes was a solid decision but also meant we were operating at different paces, too.

The temperature in the tunnel was COLD! And, wow, was it dark!!! The darkness was consuming and there was quite a stretch of distance between being able to still see the light from one end to the time we could finally observe a glimmer of light at the other end. We stopped many times to adjust lights, put coats on the boys, etc. The boys asked many times how much further until the light would reappear. They kept going, however, trusting that I knew we would indeed exit the darkness, and relying on the flashlights and my light to proceed. They also stuck close by, and together we traveled through the darkness. Now and then, we came across people traveling back the other way, dogs and the sounds of children entertaining themselves filling the void as they traversed the long, dark path.

Finally, a speck of light appeared! I was astounded by the celebration that erupted from my boys, and the level of excitement I also felt. The journey was still quite long until we emerged from the tunnel, but the hope that was ignited fueled us to continue on towards the light.

I was struck by just how far the light at the end of the tunnel shown, the distance the light was able to penetrate. The distance even once we could finally see the light was still quite a distance to cover. Despite the pinprick of observable light representing the end of the tunnel, I was also struck by the sense of hope I felt – I could see the end! A sense of determination and calm set in in that moment. Once we finally emerged, I took a great breath in – we’d made it! Two miles feels much longer with less light, fewer people on the journey with me, and with children in tow who repeatedly asked when we would emerge from the darkness.

Once on the other side, we took our time exploring and soaking up the view and the sunshine. When we announced we’d have to go back through the tunnel to return to our car, there were different responses. My oldest son was on board. Made even braver by our recent journey, he set out ahead of us, fearlessly leading the way, the first to complete the mission. My younger son was astounded we’d have to go back through again and that there wasn’t another way to go. He stuck with us, making sure to stay in the path of the light I carried.

As we reentered the tunnel, I was again taken aback by how quickly we were engulfed by the darkness. This time, as my younger son’s flashlight failed, I carried two lights for us both. He slowed down to stay near me, and I tried to go faster to keep up with him. My husband and our dog also hurried to keep up and to use my light to see their way forward. I found myself a bit annoyed at how many of our family were relying on my light, to be honest, and I found my own frustrations driving me forward to find the end of the tunnel as quickly as possible.

Later, I pondered this feeling of frustration and reflected on the experience further. I didn’t mind sharing my light earlier when we were each shining our lights, sharing and attempting to make our way through together. When I ran the marathon, I found I hardly needed my own light to see by because of the shared glow of everyone else’s lights merging together. Yet when I became the only light, I felt the heaviness of the darkness, the burden of being the only light and having everyone else reliant upon my light.

In this time of Covid, political stress, racial tensions, and isolation, I find myself thinking about this period much like being in a tunnel. I keep telling myself to be and see the light! We each have light within us, to illuminate our path before us one step at a time. We each have light to share, too. We each also need to recharge our lights from time to time, to rely then on the light of others to make our way forward. And the more lights we can gather with, the less alone and less reliant we are upon our own individual light to help move us forward.

The journey was so much easier when I ran the marathon – with so many others running forward, trusting together in the path forward. Not for a moment questioning the path and knowing that our running goal lay far beyond the end of this tunnel, the journey was bright, warm and fast. When we went through as a family, the faith my children showed in our light and in our pronouncement that the end of the tunnel would soon appear was something to learn from indeed. When we went through the tunnel again, I was inspired by the courage and learning of my older son. I was proud as he released his fear and journeyed forward to light the way ahead now knowing from experience that the end of the tunnel would come. I also learned from my own new experiences of the tunnel, some important lessons as well. I found my reflections and learnings particularly meaningful for this time in which we are all living. My learnings I am taking forward and reminding myself of constantly are these:

Have faith, there is always an end to the tunnel!

Persist! Don’t quit in the middle and let the darkness consume you; seek the light!

Remember you have overcome before. Let those triumphs be reminders and give you courage. Just like my older son used the first tunnel experience to fearlessly tackle the second, call upon your experience and inner strength. This may be a new path, but your experience and strength are not new and will still serve you.

Be fearless in your charge ahead, knowing from previous experience, you can and will conquer the darkness.

Share your light with others, and don’t be afraid to ask for others to share their light when your batteries are running low.

Remember to recharge your light and that it is okay to ask for the light of others. Just as I saw with my younger son, sometimes we need to let our own light recharge and to follow the light of others.

The light is brighter when combined with the light of others.

Light always shines through the darkness; the light will overcome!

I hope you are all well and this is a welcome reminder of the power of your light and the light of others as we find our way forward! The journey isn’t all about having the the confidence in the outcome; the journey is about having the self-confidence you can overcome and the courage to move forward despite your fears. Be the light, seek the light, choose to see the light around you! Keep the faith, there is always light at the end of a tunnel!

Three Thoughts for Thursday – October 2020

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching October 15, 2020

I have found myself pondering the seasons lately and thinking about what nature has to teach us with these annual shifts. I love the fall, but I know many others don’t favor this particular time of year. I’ve heard some think of autumn as a time of death and decay, a sad season when the days become shorter and the trees drop their green leaves to become bare. I personally love the colors, the crisp, cool air, the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet. As I have considered these different feelings about fall, I have thought more about what autumn represents, what each season might illustrate, and what we might learn from the natural progression of the changing seasons.

As I’ve been observing the colors changing here in the Pacific Northwest and have reminisced about the change of colors I’ve witnessed in other places I’ve lived – Colorado, Connecticut, New Jersey – I’ve been realizing the beauty that comes from the diversity of shades and hues produced by different trees and appreciating this diversity of how and when trees change colors. I have searched through images of autumn, and I have not only seen vibrant and diverse colors, but I have also seen images of bright colors of deciduous trees against the backdrop of a forest of evergreens, or a pop of gold in the midst of a forest of deep green. These images have also been a powerful point of reflection, seeing the beauty and strength of one that dares to stand out. I have found encouragement in this display of nature, and a call to action to dare to be different, unique, and confident in myself, and to appreciate and embrace the diversity and beauty of others that surround me.

I’ve been contemplating the seasons of my own life and have noticed as I get older, I am more comfortable owning who I am, letting my authentic self, my true colors show, and letting the inauthentic parts of me fall away much as a tree sheds its leaves in autumn. I have been on a journey of refining and becoming my best self, getting more and more comfortable with who I am and how I show up. In the spring, trees bud and bloom, again a sea of color, the trees put forth their beauty. Summer comes and trees are green, perhaps different shades, but deciduous and evergreen are connected in their shared green hue.

As I think of human nature, I think about how we all start out connected to our inner light, lacking the ability to be anything but ourselves, bold and beautiful in our unique bloom. As we mature, we learn to blend like the trees of summer, we put on our green leaves. Our branches are covered, we blend and learn to be part of the masses. Then fall comes and we have an opportunity to show our colors, to show all that we have learned and experienced, and to put forth of all that we’ve grown, but also to let go of all that does not serve us, all that has been placed upon us. We have the opportunity to share the beauty of our lives in a display of our diverse experiences and a chance to shed that which hides our authentic beauty. While we may liken the seasons of nature to the ebb and flow of life, these seasons come and go throughout the course of the year and give us a unique opportunity to observe winter, a time of hibernation and reflection, restoration and quiet, before we bloom again in the spring.

With these reflections on autumn, I challenge you to reflect upon this season with new eyes and to take the opportunity to assess your own internal beauty as well as the aspects of the world that have been given or put upon you that you might wish to shed. Use this season as an opportunity to let go of beliefs and ways of being that are holding you back, that are not serving you in your quest to be and become your authentic self. Allow your experiences to give you the courage to be you. Who are you and who do you want to be? How do you want to show up? What colors are your authentic leaves? What do you need to shed and let go of this season to become who you were meant to be? What is keeping you from standing out and how might you become truer to yourself? What keeps you from seeing and appreciating the diversity and beauty that surrounds you? For those of you who like me, love the fall, what do you love about this season? How might you find a greater appreciation for autumn?

Quote(s) I am sitting with, pondering and finding inspiration in:

“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”

~ Winston Churchill ~

“Courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

Podcast I’m Listening to:

The Tim Ferris Show, Episode 357: Susan Cain – How to Overcome Fear and Embrace Creativity

“So often, when you see someone who’s really good at almost anything, it’s because they actually start out exactly the opposite – and then they cared so much about fixing that problem.”

Susan Cain is the author of the bestsellers Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, the latter of which has been translated into more than 40 languages. Quiet is in its seventh year on The New York Times Best Sellers list, and it was named the best book for the year by Fast Company magazine, which also named Susan one of its Most Creative People in Business.

She is the Chief Revolutionary of Quiet Revolution, and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and many other publications. Her record-smashing TED talk has been viewed more than 20 million times and was named by Bill Gates as one of his all-time favorite talks.

Enjoy!

Book I am Reading and Reflecting Upon:

Emotional Intelligence and Stress-Free Leadership: Turn Emotional Pain into Performance Gain with the TENOR Method
by Charles M. Jones & Jim Knickerbocker, Ph.D.
This is a very practical approach to emotions in the workplace and offers some straight-forward guidance to understanding what lies beneath the emotions we feel, how our experiences connect to our emotions and how emotions connect most directly to providing information about what needs aren’t being met. The authors also offer practical advice and their method to use emotions to fuel success.

What Amazon has to say:

In a world where change is accelerating and competition is intensifying, leaders must be able to meet challenges and adversity with composure and resourcefulness — while keeping their people engaged and aligned. To do this, emotional intelligence (EI) is a must. The idea that EI is the foundation of effective leadership is not new. What is new is the existence of a reliable method for systematically increasing EI.

Building on recent discoveries in the fields of cognitive psychology and neuroscience, and tested with nearly a thousand people, the authors lay out a straightforward approach to developing EI. In contrast to other books on EI that view emotions as irrational drivers of reactive behavior, this book demonstrates that all emotions contain valuable guidance on how to improve your performance. The authors provide the equivalent of “emotion-decoder rings” that show you how to exploit frustration to achieve goals, anxiety to mitigate risks, and other common workplace emotions that drive business performance.

Stress, the authors’ show, is not caused by what’s happening in the world nor by your own emotions. Stress is caused by fighting against your emotions instead of working with them to improve your performance. The authors back this up by showing that stress results from tolerating tension, reactivity, negativity, powerlessness, and reluctance — and that these five killers of effective leadership are all signs that you are fighting against your own emotions.

Then how do you work with your emotions? Learn TENOR, a proven 5-step method that will help you:

Go from feeling stressed to being grounded, composed, accountable, resourceful, and committed.
Translate your painful emotions into performance data —and use this vital data to systematically improve how you perform.
Apply these techniques to reducing stress and improving performance in those around you.

Please check out my latest blog post series on Lessons from the Run, Part 1: Mile 18 – Endurance, and Lessons from the Run, Part 2: Resilience, and finally the newest addition Lessons of the Run, Part 3: Rest. Stay tuned for my upcoming blog post on My Vision: The Power of EQ to Create Change! If you missed my September edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, you can find it here, on my blog as well. As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!

Part III – Lessons from the Run: REST

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching October 15, 2020

How many of you don’t believe in making time for rest? Who thinks of rest as a waste of time or as indulgent? Any of you tell yourselves, “As soon as I complete these tasks, then I’ll rest” and then the list of tasks just keeps growing? Who worries you’ll get left behind or passed by?

From my experience, professionally, academically and personally, it is a badge of honor, a bragging point not to “need” rest. Oh, the irony that this post has taken me so long to finally write, not because I’ve been letting myself take a break from writing or working or adding to my to-do list, I’ll be honest, but rather I continue to fill my plate to overflowing, and even an essay on the importance of rest falls to the bottom, ha! I realize fully the value of rest and certainly am careful to rest when it comes to running, however I have been deeply challenged to integrate the theme into other aspects of my life. In writing this post, I am reminded once again that my journey to integrate the lessons of the run and rest into other areas of my life continues. In sharing the what I have learned about rest as it pertains to training for a marathon, I fully own that change is hard and at the same time, worth pursuing.

From the run, I have learned the importance of rest the hard way, of course! When I began running marathons after college, I took on the challenge in order to fill a void, to fill a sense of not being enough. All of my college friends were applying to grad school, PhD programs, law school, business school, med school, or negotiating high-paying jobs in finance. I didn’t know what I really wanted to do and was feeling less than, so achiever that I am, I set out to run a marathon. I had to keep up!!

In high school, I went out for cross-country my sophomore year and wanting to be successful, I trained hard, ran every day, and tackled those two-a-day training sessions with ambition, determination, and grit. I ended up with a stress fracture so severe I wasn’t able to walk and didn’t just get one of the removable boots to wear while it healed, but qualified for six weeks in an old-school cast. Lesson learned: I can’t run everyday.

So when I set out to train for my first marathon, I looked up training plans, and knowing I personally couldn’t run everyday, I used them as a basis and improvised. I knew I needed to log miles, but I also needed to build my lung capacity, endurance, and cardiovascular stamina. I swam, weight-trained, went to spin classes and ran three times per week, careful to also mix up my running days with speed work and distance training.

My plan of attack worked, and I successfully completed my first marathon, the Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA, injury-free. Life happened and I got distracted from running another marathon for a few years, but after that first race, I was set on running another. I completed my second marathon four years later and by that time had set a goal to run 5 before my 30th birthday, which meant running four more in the course of about a year. I still had the urge to somehow keep up with some internal, personal and ever-moving goal. I made it through three of the four needed and felt pretty confident I had my training all figured out.

I decided to hire a personal trainer to help me get faster, and while I didn’t really feel the need to run the Boston Marathon, I thought qualifying would make me feel like a real runner. Up until this point, I didn’t yet think of myself as a runner. Imposter Syndrome is a topic for another post…

The trainer put together a plan that included rest days, but I was feeling so good and getting so fast, seeing such great results, that I decided to take things into my own hands. I was also addicted to the run by this point, so rest days found me feeling a bit itchy and irritable. I started ignoring the rest days and logging more miles.

My next marathon was in three weeks and I was set to run the fastest marathon I’d ever run, and to blow out of the water, the qualifying time for Boston. I set out on an 18-mile run just before the taper of my training plan and at mile 17, I couldn’t make myself run another step. I limped my way home, convincing myself I just needed a few days off and some ice. I even swallowed my stubborn pride and made myself a doctor’s appointment to confirm my self-diagnosis that nothing was wrong that a little rest couldn’t remedy before race day.

Two partial muscle tears and a stress-fracture were my diagnosis. There would be no marathon for me. In fact, the doctor advised against running for the next 12-16 weeks. I was crushed and crawling out of my skin like an addict without a running fix.

This painful period without running really drove the lesson home. The lessons of the run taught me the importance of rest which has slowly over the years also translated to life. As I noted, I still struggle with creating space to fill my cup, to do nothing, to rest, but when I do, I see the value and celebrate that I chose to pause instead of running myself into the ground chasing the end of the never-ending to-do list. Letting my brain rest is as important as letting my body rest, and I’m always energized after the downtime, able to see with fresh eyes, able to adapt, flex and build with new creativity and zest.

Since that painful experience that finally taught me the importance of taking rest days from running, I have completed seven more marathons, including Boston, after finally earning a qualifying time. I stopped running anything more than two marathons a year. I took time and dealt with the underlying issues driving me to run, causing the addiction, and began running for fun rather than out of necessity. And, I finally, once and for all, learned the value of those rest days my trainer emphasized were so important. The days off from running are as essential to running a successful marathon as the days I run intervals or hills or distance.

Rest is still a work in progress outside of running, but I am dedicated to pursuing the lesson and breaking the habits of too much work and not enough downtime. I know I’m not alone in this struggle to see the value in rest. What keeps you from learning the lesson? What keeps you from resting? What is really behind all the excuses? What happens when you continuously allow the excuses to win? How might you reframe rest and give rest the importance and value it deserves and thereby finally value yourself enough to rest?

Photo by Angelina Kichukova on Unsplash

Three Thoughts for Thursday – September 2020

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching September 17, 2020

Here in the Pacific Northwest, as fall approaches, we typically welcome back the fog and rain. This year, it is hard to separate the moisture in the air, the fog, and the smoke that has blanketed our world. We are surrounded by devastating fires in California, Oregon, and Eastern Washington, and weather patterns out of the ordinary have created a unique situation that has kept the smoke from these other places trapped in the Puget Sound area. Leave it to 2020 to hand us another challenge. As I drove across Lake Washington yesterday, the smoke was so thick, I couldn’t even see the water I knew was next to and beneath me on the bridge. I couldn’t see the city, the familiar Space Needle, but rather I was enveloped, only able to see the necessary amount ahead to safely proceed.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have been wrestling with the lessons of 2020 – Coronavirus, racial tensions, political mess, and now natural disaster. In some ways, I feel isolated, and yet in other ways I feel more connected on a human level as we are seemingly being brought to our knees, rocked to the core of our humanity. I have felt humbled by the complete lack of control. With no end in sight and no guarantees that 2021 will miraculously bring with it and end to our problems, I keep thinking about the lessons. I keep thinking about humility and asking what it is we need to learn; what it is I can learn. I keep thinking about the smoke and the way it has further obscured my view of the future and necessitated my trust and faith in knowing what exists beyond my sight yet, knowing like yesterday I can see only what I need to see, only the road in front of me.

I’ve been reminded of something important and valuable I learned from both a course on emotional intelligence and through the evidence-based coaching program I completed – this idea of getting humble and allowing humility to inspire sincere curiosity. I have been inspired to strive to meet people where they are and to see through their lens. I have been challenged to build bridges without seeing the other side first and to trust in the core of our humanity to connect us.

As we are being stripped of our past ways of being, what does it mean to let go and be humbled? How do we make the most of the life we are living right now? How do we accept our limited view and stop trying to plan too far into the future? What do we already know that will guide us in this time of uncertainty? This year, 2020, seems intent on slowing us down, on humbling us and reminding us of our past missteps. The bridge is there, just as it was yesterday when I made my way blindly into Seattle. We simply need to take one careful, deliberate step at a time. How might we allow humility to help us proceed with care and to create wiser, more intentional bridges and paths forward? How do we embrace the destruction and slow breaking, and thoughtfully, carefully grow something new, nourished by the ashes of the past?

Poem I am sitting with, pondering, and finding inspiration in:

Fragile
By Nic Askew

We are fragile. You and me.

Though we act strong,
our lives are
held together with
thoughts of where
we might be tomorrow.
And of disappointed
yesterdays.

At any moment we might shatter.
We might fall to our knees
weighed down by the terror
of being so far from
our own control.

Dare we look up, we’d not know
where to go or what to do.

We are fragile. You and me.

If we turn to each other,
we might see the whole world
on their knees.
Hurting, and seemingly
alone.

But none of us are.

We are fragile together.

Podcast I’m Listening to:

Coaching for Leaders with Dave Stachowiak

Dave Stachowiak founded Coaching for Leaders in 2011. He was named in Forbes as one of the 25 Professional Networking Experts to Watch in 2015 and has also been featured in U.S. News & World Report. He notes that he found himself at the intersection of business and education throughout his career.

Previously he served as Senior Vice President with Dale Carnegie of Southern Los Angeles and led training programs for top organizations like the Northrop Grumman Corporation, The United States Air Force, the Boeing Company, and the University of California system.

During his tenure at Dale Carnegie, he was recognized multiple times with international business awards. His credentials include a doctoral degree in organizational leadership from Pepperdine University, certification as a facilitator with Dale Carnegie, and a certification as Coach U graduate. He has taught years of graduate courses in leadership and education at Vanguard University and serves on the board of the Global Center for Women & Justice. Additionally, he also co-hosts the Ending Human Trafficking podcast with friend, Sandie Morgan.

Dave has also been passed up for promotions, failed at launching his first business, and still fights through an occasional fear of speaking to people. He lives in Southern California with his wife and two children.

Episode #488: Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi

Don’t be deterred by the title as it seems to go against the idea promoted by Simon Sinek that leaders should “eat last”, at least that was my husband’s first reaction when I shared the title of the podcast I’d found inspiring. Keith Ferrazzi offers insight into creating an environment of authenticity and psychological safety by walking the talk as a leader, by meeting others where they are rather than expecting them to meet you halfway. By having the humility to take the first step, going first, and choosing to be a leader who is authentic and transparent, you set the tone and create the container for those around you to show up the same way. Another insight that struck me and is still sitting with me is that “fear and scarcity breed perfectionism.” This helped me to think more deeply about my own penchant for perfectionism and the drivers behind my efforts. In order to change, one must first see what lies beneath. I have been inspired by the new lens, and hope you find some inspiration and new awareness through this podcast, too.

Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a management consulting and team coaching company that works with many of the world’s biggest corporations. A graduate of Harvard Business School, Keith rose to become the youngest CMO of a Fortune 500 company during his career at Deloitte, and later became CMO if Starwood Hotels.

Keith is a frequent contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Fortune, and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Who’s Got Your Back, and Never Eat Alone. He’s the author of the new book, Leading without Authority: How the New Power of Co-Elevation Can Break Down Silos, Transform Teams, and Reinvent Collaboration.

In this conversation, Keith and Dave discuss the importance of co-elevation in leadership. They also explore the six deadly sins that leaders should avoid and discuss why it’s not all on you, especially at the start.

Book I am Reading and Reflecting Upon:

What caught my attention about this book was the idea humility and trust are key to adaptability and successfully navigating change – key to our success in this current environment of global change. Also, these themes of creating psychological safety, embracing diverse workforces, and collaborative problem solving all seem essential in our world as we know it.

Humble Leadership: The Power of Relationships, Openness and Trust by Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein

Bestselling author and father of organizational culture studies, Edgar Schein and Peter Schein trail-blaze with a creative perspective on leadership that encourages vulnerability and empathy as a form of strength.

The more traditional forms of leadership that are based on static hierarchies and professional distance between leaders and followers are growing increasingly outdated and ineffective. As organizations face more complex interdependent tasks, leadership must become more personal in order to ensure open trusting communication that will make more collaborative problem solving and innovation possible. Without open and trusting communications throughout organizations, they will continue to face the productivity and quality problems that result from reward systems that emphasize individual competition and “climbing the corporate ladder”. Authors Edgar Schein and Peter Schein recognize this reality and call for a reimagined form of leadership that coincides with emerging trends of relationship building, complex group work, diverse workforces, and cultures in which everyone feels psychologically safe. Humble Leadership calls for “here and now” humility based on a deeper understanding of the constantly evolving complexities of interpersonal, group and intergroup relationships that require shifting our focus towards the process of group dynamics and collaboration. Humble Leadership at all levels and in all working groups will be the key to achieving the creativity, adaptiveness, and agility that organizations will need to survive and grow.

Please check out my latest blog posts on Lessons from the Run, Part 1: Mile 18 – Endurance, and Lessons from the Run, Part 2: Resilience, and stay tuned for the next addition Lessons of the Run, Part 3: Rest, as well as my upcoming blog post on My Vision: The Power of EQ to Create Change! If you missed my August edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, you can find it here, on my blog as well. As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!

Three Thoughts for Thursday – August 2020

Desiree Briel Rodi Consulting & Coaching August 20, 2020

Photo by Nils Rasmusson on Unsplash

This month, I’ve been challenged to find ways of creating mental freedom. I have thought often of Viktor Frankl and his book, Man’s Search for Meaning over the last few weeks. He writes about living in horrible, unspeakable conditions of captivity during the Holocaust and how he found this sense of internal freedom from his captors. According to the wisdom of Frankl, “[e]verything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”[1] Viktor Frankl also offers that “[b]etween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”[2] This especially hits home for me as my work in emotional intelligence leverages neuroscience to promote rewiring the brain, pausing to make new choices, empowering myself and others to create space to choose new actions and reactions.

The word that has been coming to mind on these days on which I feel stuck, these moments when I feel stripped of my freedoms and I mourn the loss of some of the activities and freedoms I often took for granted, is claustrophobic. From what I hear from others and see in the news, I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. Rather than breaking the rules I know are best for everyone, I challenge myself to think of Viktor Frankl. I challenge myself to be creative, to think about how I might find mental freedom in this time of loss of control, and rules, regulations and mandates. Rather than feel guilty for my own perceived losses of freedom in comparison to the loss of freedom Frankl suffered, I feel inspired and grateful. If he was able to find peace and freedom in such dire circumstances, certainly I can rise and find ways to throw off these feelings of claustrophobia and redefine freedom, too!

What freedoms have you lost recently? How have you mourned these losses? How are you creating space for yourself to reflect and find mental freedom? What are new ways you might experience freedom? What are new freedoms that have come in our current situation? How might you challenge yourself to find new opportunities for mental freedom?

[1] Frankl, V. (1959, 1962, 1984, 1992). Man’s Search for Meaning. New York: Buccaneer Books, Inc.

[2] Viktor E. Frankl Quotes. (n.d.). BrainyQuote.com. Retrieved August 19, 2020, from BrainyQuote.com Web site: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/viktor_e_frankl_160380

Quote(s) I am sitting with, pondering and finding inspiration:

“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.”

~ Rachel Marie Martin

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Podcast I’m Listening to:

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Dan Harris is a fidgety, skeptical ABC News anchor who had a panic attack live on “Good Morning America,” which led him to try something he always thought was ridiculous: meditation. He went on to write the bestselling book, “10% Happier.” In this podcast, Dan explores happiness (whatever that means) from all angles. Guests include legendary meditation teachers — from the Dalai Lama to Western masters — as well as scientists, and even the odd celebrity. But the show also ventures beyond meditation, bringing on leading researchers in areas such as social anxiety, bias, creativity, productivity, and relationships. The animating insight of this show is that the mind is trainable. This is what science is showing us. Mental traits such as happiness, calm, generosity, compassion, and connection are not hardwired, unalterable factory settings; they are, in fact, skills that can be trained. On this show, you’ll learn how.

Episode #239: How to Go Easy on Yourself During a Pandemic with Dr. Kristin Neff

It’s easy to add insult to injury in this pandemic by beating ourselves up. Why are we not exercising more? Eating less? Or boosting our productivity? Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, says we need to give ourselves a break. To be clear, that does not mean relinquishing our high standards. Neff is one of – if not the – world’s leading experts on self-compassion. That’s a squishy-sounding term, but there is a lot of hard-nosed evidence behind it. Per Neff, not beating yourself up does not equate to being lazy. It’s about knowing the difference between healthy perfectionism and maladaptive perfectionism. It’s about going easy without going soft. The smart, sparing use of the inner cattle prod. This was exactly the conversation I needed to have right now.

Where to find Kristin Neff online: https://self-compassion.

Photo by garrett parker on Unsplash

Passage I am Re-Reading and Reflecting Upon:

Lab Girl by Hope JahrenAcclaimed scientist Hope Jahren has built three laboratories in which she’s studied trees, flowers, seeds, and soil. Her first book is a revelatory treatise on plant life—but it is also so much more.

Lab Girl is a book about work, love, and the mountains that can be moved when those two things come together. It is told through Jahren’s remarkable stories: about her childhood in rural Minnesota with an uncompromising mother and a father who encouraged hours of play in his classroom’s labs; about how she found a sanctuary in science, and learned to perform lab work done “with both the heart and the hands”; and about the inevitable disappointments, but also the triumphs and exhilarating discoveries, of scientific work.

Yet at the core of this book is the story of a relationship Jahren forged with a brilliant, wounded man named Bill, who becomes her lab partner and best friend. Their sometimes rogue adventures in science take them from the Midwest across the United States and back again, over the Atlantic to the ever-light skies of the North Pole and to tropical Hawaii, where she and her lab currently make their home.

Jahren’s probing look at plants, her astonishing tenacity of spirit, and her acute insights on nature enliven every page of this extraordinary book. Lab Girl opens your eyes to the beautiful, sophisticated mechanisms within every leaf, blade of grass, and flower petal. Here is an eloquent demonstration of what can happen when you find the stamina, passion, and sense of sacrifice needed to make a life out of what you truly love, as you discover along the way the person you were meant to be.

Several years ago, I read this book and loved how the author brought together what we can learn from nature and the lessons from nature we can reflect upon and apply to life. I loved how she intertwined the writing, moving between a chapter of telling her story to a chapter about nature and what nature can teach us in relation to her life story, and life in general. I kept thinking about a moment in the book that I could remember vaguely where she writes about seeds and how some seeds take a great deal of time to germinate. In this current time of waiting we all find ourselves in, I felt compelled to pull out the book, find this passage and reflect, and in turn, I was inspired to share:

Chapter 3

A seed knows how to wait. Most seeds wait for at least a year before starting to grow; a cherry seed can wait for a hundred years with no problem. What exactly each seed is waiting for is known only to that seed. Some unique trigger-combination of temperature-moisture-light and many other things is required to convince a seed to jump off the deep end and take its chance – to take its one and only chance to grow.

A seed is alive while it waits. Every acorn on the ground is just as alive as the three-hundred-year-old oak tree that towers over it. Neither the seed nor the oak is growing; they are both just waiting. Their waiting differs, however, in that the seed is waiting to flourish while the tree is only waiting to die. When you go into the forest you probably tend to look up at the plants that have grown so much taller than you ever could. You probably don’t look down, where just beneath your single footprint sit hundreds of seeds, each one alive and waiting.

…..

Each beginning is the end of a waiting. We are each given exactly one chance to be. Each of us is both impossible and inevitable. Every replete tree was first a seed that waited.

Photos by Kentaro Toma on Unsplash

Please check out my latest blog posts on Lessons from the Run, Part 1: Mile 18 – Endurance, and Lessons from the Run, Part 2: Resilience, and stay tuned for the next addition Lessons of the Run, Part 3: Rest, as well as my upcoming blog post on My Vision: The Power of EQ to Create Change! If you missed my July edition of Three Thoughts for Thursday, you can find it here, on my blog as well. As always, thank you for your continued support and readership! Stay strong, stay brave, stay true to you!